Thursday, March 10, 2011

American Idol Snark Station: Really, Really Late

Sorry, folks; I was visiting some friends last night who just had twins (baby, baby, please let me hold him, I wanna make him stay up all night), so not only did I miss American Idol, it didn't even record itself because our stoooooopid satellite company is in the middle of a colossal snit fit with Fox and CBS. We can watch the channels, if we can find them, but they don't come up on the guide.

Yeah, and we're paying for this privilege!

Anyway, I just finished watching the videos on-line.

Casey: awesome. Gets cuter by the second.

Naima: infectious.

Paul: What. The. Hail?

Karen: zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Pia: soapy, hate that freakin' song, and her dress had a tail, which is just not okay.

Scotty: George, is that you?

Country girl #1: can we all just take Pasty Cline off the table now?

Country girl #2: infectious 2.0.

Ashton: awesome hair and dress. but just a wee bit zzzzzzzzzz.

Jacob: boy, he's good, but . . . zzzzzzzz.

Thia: I don't ever want to hear "Smile" ever again, ever, unless it's attached to a Quentin Tarantino movie and someone's getting chainsawed apart to it.

Durbin: We were just talking about Wings last week! Wings is awesome, and this song? I could listen to it a gazillion times and never get tired of it. Guys, that's how you write a kick-ass love song to the kick-ass gal that puts up with your happy, leave-the-toilet-seat-up-and-drink-straight-out-of-the-orange-juice-container, ass. Tail boy did justice to the song.

So who goes home? My vote is for Paul. Drugs 'r' bad, m'kay?


Pam said...

Casey: I actually voted for him via some Facebook application.

Naima: I'm undecided about her. Can't wait for her self-confidence to get better. I think there is a crazy factor lurking beneath her surface.

Paul: My secret love of the season! Crazy about him! But he's too off-the-wall to last methinks.

Karen: Since when are Mexican girls named Karen? She needs to quit the JLo/Selena sucky-uppy bit. Already old.

Pia: THANK YOU MOI for saying what I said about her. She is gorgeous but I'm not feeling it from her. She's a little full of herself also.

Scotty: He turned it up onstage. Not my style, but I think he's got a future.

Country girl #1: Lauren? I like her the best and think she will last longer than ...

Country girl #2: Did she go home tonight? If not she should have. I actually cringed when she did the Leann Rimes yodel. argh.

Ashton: Oh wait, she is the one who went home. Rightly so. All hair and attitude, needs a little more baking before surfaces again.

Jacob: Anyone who is this religious but claims R Kelly as a role-model is a little concerning to me.

Thia: Moi, you nailed this one also. Get. the. razorblades. out. because. smile. (the song). makes me want to slit my wrists. She couldn't even say Charlie Chaplin, let alone know who he is. This is not a song to wow America. Even people crying in their beer would turn this off.

Durbin: Totally agree with you on him as well! Britgal Sarah and I had discussed him briefly, her being the screaming rocker girl that she is. I, on the other hand, like rock but not screaming. BUT, Durbin did not go over the top with this song. His melody and voice was perfect, attitude was spot-on, made the song young again. Loved him and I didn't want to like him at all. He won me over quite a bit.

Meanwhile, this working with actual producers has been a God-send. The level of talent is huge this year also, which confirms what has long been suspected, that in the past they chose contestants based on personality and looks (be it good or bad), rather than
true potential. This group seems to have turned it around. And the judges, being really impressed with what the kids are doing, is really nice to see.

Didn't want to watch this year, but now am glad I am.

Anonymous said...

I fast-forwarded through about 6 of them if they started weakly and had bored me previously.

In each of those cases, Randy said " Yo, dog, you started weakly and you've bored me previously but you really finished strong."

So, maybe I should listen to the whole songs in the future.

Anyhay, I didn't like the Jimmy Iovine Show format. Kind of unfair that some got Don Was as advisor and some got Yo Doggy Dogg and Mr. Nobody.

Anyway, people I watched all or most of:

Casey the Troll was GREAT again. Unfortunately, he's also in the hospital again.

Paul McDonald doesn't have a strong enough voice but was okay.

Lusk has a great voice but was BORING. And seems DIM.

I still dislike Durbin but he picked a good arrangement and showed restraint and talent.

Haley (who Moi calls a country girl) picked a bizarro world song and is lucky she wasn't booted.

Lauren (who Moi calls a country girl) picked a HORRIBLE song by a HORRIBLE singer and is lucky she wasn't booted.

All in all, I'm happy that my 3 dark-horses from WAY back are still alive. But Haley (who I don't think is a country girl) and Lauren (who has bad taste in music if Shania Twang is her idol) really need to step it up.

My third dark-horse, Casey the Troll, has been the most interesting person on the show so far by a wide margin.

Anonymous said...


I found it repulsive that R. Kelly and M. Jackson were picked as role models too.

moi said...

Pam: Paul seemed high to me; or maybe it was just the fact that I was watching on YouTube on my laptop. I really do want to smack Pia with a Gucci glove. That kind of Celine Dion posturing just doesn't interest me at all. About the only singer I can stand in that particular mode is Christina Aguilera, but she has a VOICE.

Troll: One of the country grrrlz (the Kelly Clarkson one, Lauren?) doesn't bother me as much as she does you. I rather like her, in fact. I'd like to hear Jacob sing a gospel song, something lilting and old-timey. I have no idea what could be wrong with Casey that's now required two blood transfusions but whatever it is, it can't be good. I can count on one hand the number of contestants who have sparked this kind of interest in me over the years (and they're usually NOT the winners) and he's now number 4. I hope he shakes it off.

All: I was sad to see Ashton go, but misguided song choice will sink you every time. If you watch her performance from last week again, I think she was the only one of the singers other than Casey who really felt comfortable on the stage. Too bad.

Jenny said...


"I don't ever want to hear "Smile" ever again, ever, unless it's attached to a Quentin Tarantino movie and someone's getting chainsawed apart to it."

Noooo kidding.

I like Pia. I think she'll get better with song choices and her clothes (that prom dress was really bad) but I love her voice. I look forward to a night when she gets it all together.

For me, Casey is my only true fav right now. I'm still getting the others confuzzled.

@Pam - what did you think of Adam? I thought he was looking fine and sounded good. Now, who won that season? Bwahahahahha.

Anonymous said...

there's a good post on the Frances Hunter blog that I'm stealing.

Karl said...

Good afternoon Moi,

Stop by to ask, how your foot is doing.

Hope you're getting around well and have dealt with your bathing issue.

moi said...

Boxer: Oh, honey, that's okay that you like Pia. You can close your eyes when I smack her.

Troll: That was a most interesting post. Do you descend from Julia or Harriet?

Karl: Grrrrrrr. Still no full on shower allowed.