Friday, March 4, 2011

30 Days in the Hole

This is not what I meant when I said I wanted a new wedge for spring.

Day 1-7: Walking or standing is allowed for only 5-10 minutes every hour. Only exercise allowed is rotation/flexing of knee, ankle, and foot five minutes every hour. Foot to be elevated at all times while sitting or lying down. No driving. No showering, bathing, or otherwise getting foot wet. No stuffing face with all manner of crappy food because one is crawling out of one's skin from boredom. Fun factor: Zero.

Day 7-14: If I've been a good girl and the doctor is happy with my recovery, I will be cleared to shower, lift weights in ways that do not put pressure on my foot, swim, and ride a stationery bicycle. Also, driving and more time on my feet, provided I don't have pain or swelling, will be allowed. Will I be able to walk the dogs in the hills? Undetermined. Regardless, I must continue to wear this stupid ass boot 24/7. At this point, will have to mark in silver ink clearly on the front: this is not a voluntary choice of footwear. Fun factor: 3.

Day 14-30: Another visit to the doctor. If my recovery is going swimmingly, I'll be able to graduate to wearing an athletic-type shoe. May also be cleared for heavier duty weight-lifting, the elliptical trainer, and walking the dogs. Fun factor: 4-1/2.

Day 30+: If all continues to progress well, I'll be cleared to start running again on a treadmill and can lift weights freely. No hills for another 2-3 weeks. Which, heh, is ironic because I have a half marathon May 1 and a hill marathon June 10th. Fun factor: 6.

So, if any of you have been laid up with an injury, please share with me what you did to maintain muscle mass and not lose cardio fitness for the duration. Also, any thoughts on how to remain calm and occupied so as not to blow my brains out would be appreciated, as well.


Anonymous said...

My prayers go towards a timely and full recovery for you.

Actually, I have a very sound plan that my Uncle the Orthopaedic Surgeon endorses. He's had hundreds of patients (including NBA players who are generally lean to start with) who were worried about the same general thing you are.

1) Eat the leanest best diet of your life. Lose weight. Even if in your case, you wind up a few pounds UNDER-weight. DIET and LOSING WEIGHT is the key. Not attempting to do parts of your current regimen. Which usually winds up being HARMFUL not helpful.

2) Begin your quest to improve cardio-vascular conditioning and build muscle-mass AFTER your Doc clears you for HARD training.

3) By starting from a leaner and rested base, you'll shock your skeleto-muscular, cardio-vascular, and other systems into a level of fitness you would not have achieved without the injury "break" in your routine.

As for boredom, you could put your writing talents to use by writing a tribute to Secretariat.

chickory said...

It happened already?!? Well you are very fit so i think you'll be a fast heal. Of course I was laid up - 6 weeks for me -all of them in a hard plastic neck brace. I lost weight for some reason...maybe because i was on enough drugs to kill my appetite.

I downloaded a bunch of podcasts to listen to. I read. I sat outside and watched birds, watched movies. and that was all on the first day. grrrhahahahaha

it will be boring. I expect lots of great blog posts. at least typing wont make your surgeon yell at you as mine did - working on a laptop is not a good neck recovery activity.

If I can help - let me know.!

moi said...

Troll: Very helpful information, thanks! I already planned to restrict my diet, but was hoping to at least start exercising next week. But now I'm intrigued by this shock the system method you describe. It makes sense, much in the same way I always run my fastest, easiest runs after a race recovery period.

K9: Yes, this Wednesday morning. It took longer to process my paperwork than it took to do the actual surgery: a 10-minute slit, snip, and stitch that had my doc back on the golf course by 9am. And me tossing my cookies. Anesthesia is ROUGH. I'm thankful that the weather is holding firm at warm, so I can spend some time outside (a Cooper's hawk has been visiting our birdbath!) I'm also very busy with work, which is good in one way, not in another, as I'm extremely uncomfortable at my desk. Thanks for the tips and the offer of help; I don't suppose that would include shipping Trout over :o)?

Jenny said...

I laughed out loud at Chickory's comment about doing everything the first day and then.... what? I had no idea the recovery was a month. Aghghgh.

Can you do free weights? Build up (or not lose) muscle in the uppper body?

Learn a language?

Honestly? I'd be going crazy by day two, possibly over the lack of showering and not moving.

Troll's comment is very interesting. I think he's right about eating lean, I'd make sure you have extra protein in your diet and keep those Fresca's nearby.

Take good care of them toes. xoxox

moi said...

Boxer: Sponge-bathing is for the French, I tell ya. Yew. I'll be cleared on Thursday to lift for upper body only, on a weight bench (which we have at the house), so as not to put any pressure on the foot. So I may do that, although, I don't know; I'll have to see what Troll says :o)

Karl said...

Good morning Moi,

I hope you not too uncomfortable.

Sex, it not only occupies the mind, when performed correctly can be a good workout.

Find a PT Office that has an arm bike. It's not a bad cardio workout. The office that treated me had a program. You could come in and use their equipment kind of like a gym. They charged by the hour, I don't remember how much it cost.

Trolls program is very interesting I wish I had tried it. I can tell you that self medicating by doing 12 oz wrist curls doesn't help.

czar said...

any thoughts on how to remain calm and occupied so as not to blow my brains out would be appreciated, as well.

Refrain from opening a letter soon to hit your mailbox (if it hasn't already) from a certain ATL-based publisher.

Actually, it's not all bad news. But let's just say that big fat envelopes don't translate into big fat checks.

moi said...

Karl: Oh, yes, sex! Because I'm feeling oh so very, very sexy with this big-ass boot stuck on my foot! But I grok to the sentiment, and I suppose I could pretend I'm French. You know, no baths, lots of perfume to cover the odor :o)

Czar: And I'm working on a big fat reply along the lines of too bad, so sad, don't care. Pay me. I nearly emailed you with my head explode, but figured you were dealing with one of your own.

Pam said...

OMG! If I had no idea you were doing anything like this! What was the surgery for? An injury or corrective-ness? I had to wear 'the boot' for one week for my missing toenail and was ready to jump off the roof. I can't imagine someone as active as you (and as high-heel loving as you) having to be stuck in Das Boot.

I was going to say to just relax and watch movies while you recover, enjoying the mindless time as much as possible. But Troll's plan is very interesting indeed. I do believe a person needs to plan a recovery, much like planning a course of action on other things. But then again, lying around on the sofa has its merits.

But you neglect to mention how long before you can slip into some spike heels!

Buzz Kill said...

Now that's a hot peekytoe stiletto! I'm just kidding - it's not hot. Hope the doc gave you plenty of pain killers. mend quickly.

moi said...

Pam: Oh, I plan to do my share of sofa surfing. In fact, I'm headed that way right now :o) The surgery was to correct a long-time hereditary defect of the joints in my fourth toe, which resulted in something called a hammer or claw toe. It has been bugging me for years, but about 3 months ago, got to the point where walking in anything except a slight heel resulted in terrible pain. Running was possible only with wrapping and padding and even then there was pain.

These kinds of defects can be treated, but once they get to the rigid stage like mine did, the only cure is surgery. Yes, I'll be able to wear heels again. It's not the height of the shoes that I'll have to watch from here on out, but the width and amount of room in the toe box.

moi said...

Buzz: You know what? I'm sure that someone, somewhere out there in this wild and wooly world of ours has a fetish for this kind of footwear. I hope I never meet them. As for pain, what there is of it occurs primarily when I'm sleeping, but goes away if I sleep with my foot elevated above my heart. A little inelegant, but it works. I am armed with a full bottle of Vicodin if I need it, but it doesn't look like I will. So, I plan to Google "Vicodin and tequila" to see if, perhaps, this might make a nifty cocktail for my next plane flight.

Milk River Madman said...

Drink some Crown Royal. It makes my clairvoyant so it will help heal your foot. Not to mention how it helps with pain.

moi said...

MRM: Now there's thought; I could always DRINK all my calories.

Sharon Rudd said...

Oh, no. Another ailing blogger friend! So sorry to hear you're laid up, moi. MY sister-in-law has had to keep her elbow immobile for 4 weeks that turned into 6, which I think would be even more limiting. (And I'd lose my my mind if I couldn't use my keyboard or mouse :)

Take care, and heal quickly. Hope you're back to running - and heels - in no time.


Aunty Belle said...



So sorry, Moi, Cherie.

Wait...wait jes' a minute--hold up a second.

When ya's runnin' around like the proverbial headless chicken, doan ya WISH somebody would make ya slow down, have time to read, knit Kymmie's baby a blankie, do the crossword puzzle? savor cookbooks? Write the first chapter of your novel? Now's yore chance--guilt free!!

Tie a ribbon on the boot an' relish SB's steppin' an fetchin'--ahahaha!

As fer keepin' yore muscles muscled, what about isometrics fer the tummy? An' get them elastic band thingys and work out yore arms/ shoulders.

What would drive me wild? No bath for a week--cain't go thar'.

Sorry, Sweet Pea. Hate to think of ya' all ya-ya.

fishy said...

Sympathy to you and Czar about the ATL package. If you are like me you need to get up and move when your are afflicted wih a case of the furies.

The meds needed to minimize bone pain can also leave one in a dreadful place between want and can't. You want to do something to keep your gray matter entertained but can't because the meds won't let you. So it is a good time to do all the tasks you never have time for. Maybe organizing all your storage or cataloging your library, photo journaling the shoe collection or planning your world tour by hot air balloon.

On the exercise front, there are lots of exercises you can do supine that won't require SB's participation. Just remember that aerobic activity without bathing creates itchy skin. Actually you CAN bathe if you leave your right leg out of the tub. Trust me when I tell you the hard part will be not shaving for a week or more.

I expect there will be some great haiku, some entertaining pictures of the unexercised pups and in a week or so, awesome culinary reports!


moi said...

Eggy: Thanks so much for your well wishes. Ooooo, not moving an arm I think is worse than not moving a leg. I can't type with my toes :o) What I'm concentrating on right now, is not eating everything in sight. Instead, I'm going to torture myself and organize my mother's recipes. Sauerbraten! When was the last time I had sauerbraten?

Aunty: I'm getting adept at sponge-bathing, but I don't like it. Nothing can replace a long, hot shower. Thank goodness I also have plenty of 4711 :o)

Fishy: I'm going to try a tub soak with my leg hanging over but that will be more an exercise in expediency than succor. My right foot is booted, the tub facet is on the left, a wall behind it. Good point about the meds. The hydrocordone in Vicodin is a narcotic, which I stay away from. Strangely enough, I had major pain last night, but it came in waves, so I was able to deal.

darkfoam said...

poor foot! take it easy. troll gives good advice about watching what you eat. i herniated my back in two places last year and couldn't get around very much at all for several weeks. i watched tons of movies and gained some weight primarily because my husband was also bed bound due to an illness for which he had to have 2 outpatient surgeries. my then 12 year old knew how to make frozen pizzas .. so that's what he would make for us and then plop a plate of pizza on our chests .. lol ...

Anonymous said...


It's not what "Troll says" it's what Troll's Uncle determined was best after many years of research.

You won't get the glandular, cardio-vascular, skeleto-muscular, and neurological boost if you persist in working all the muscle groups besides the ones connected to your foot.

And you might screw yourself up.

Karl said...

Good afternoon Moi,

While pondering your bathing predicament, I thought I would do a little research. Here's what I came up with. You could try one of these
although they seem expensive. If you're on a budget perhaps this
would be it a less expensive alternative. Then again there's always this version just in case you and SB decide to share. None of them have a left or right side and no pesky valves to stick you in the back.

Hope you're feeling better.

moi said...

Foam: I thought about teaching the Border Collie to cook but there's only one problem: no opposable thumbs. Darn evolution.

Troll: Sorry, "What Troll's Uncle says." I have done some research on the plan and it does seems sound.

Karl: And then I could float it down the river?! Pretty cool, though. If I were going to be off bathing for longer than a week, I might consider it. Four more days to go . . .

The Poet Laura-eate said...

Not the coolest shoes for the Spring season dude.

Hope you'd been able to shed them since.