Thursday, October 9, 2008

Gentlemen Prefer . . .


BRAINS?

In my perusal of some non-goobermentorial news to brighten my early fall a.m., I just came across this gem of a story:

BLONDE SUES OVER BROWN DYE
By Associated Press

BRIDGEPORT, Conn. (AP) - A Connecticut judge has given the brush-off to a blonde woman's lawsuit claiming L'Oreal Inc. ruined her social life when she accidentally dyed her hair brunette with one of its products. Charlotte Feeney of Stratford says she can never return to her natural blonde hue, a shock that left her so traumatized she needed anti-depressants. She says she suffered headaches and anxiety, missed the attention that blondes receive and had to stay home and wear hats most of the time. A Superior Court judge dismissed Feeney's 2005 lawsuit Monday, saying she never proved her allegation that L'Oreal put brown hair dye in a box labeled as blonde. The company also had disputed the claim. Feeney referred questions on Wednesday to her attorney, David Laudano, who has declined to comment.

Well, now. I've dyed my hair just about every color in the universe, including chartreuse green and violet purple, and I can tell you this: those blondies, they do get a lot of attention. So I feel for Charlotte, I really do. Because it doesn't sound like she's got much inside that head of hers that can recommend her as a quality human being.

But what I really want to know is why she thinks she'll never return to her natural color? Jeezus. Just how dumb IS this dumb blonde? It's called time, honey.

23 comments:

K9 said...

grrrherhahaha! one time i used kool aid to dye my hair for halloween. ooops! stuck to my highlights real good. but pink was fun for a while. might be harder to explain at this age which is why i avoid kool aid of all kinds -the dye and the the drink that everyone who is already "over" the bailout is drinking. grrrrrrrrrrrrrolf!

NYD said...

This has happened to me.

A.B. said...

I used to put lemon juice on my hair to lighten it and it turned RED.

How long does it take to grow out hair? Just ask Britney Spears y'all.

(it's me, Anonymous Boxer!)

Doris Rose said...

Lawsey mercy,get a job blondie.I would like to know which lawyer fell off a turnip truck and thought this would be HIS big case.

EmmaK said...

If I were the judge I'd just give her ten dollars to wear a wig. What dumb gal.

Oh and do me a favor, Anonymous Boxer has gone up in flames so I need you to do a piece on no friends Kenley in yesterday's episode...or maybe i will do one.

EmmaK said...

never mind about doing a piece, there is enough here to keep me going:
http://jezebel.com/5061013/project-runway-and-then-there-were-three

Did Kenley copy the McQueen dress?
I'm pretty sure she did!!

Wendy said...

I think she's verrrrrrrrrrry smart. She must have done some research to find the most original lawsuit ever. Mislabeled hair dye! So much more palatable than a finger bone in a bowl of fast food chili.

I'm considering suing my parents for giving me cankles.

Big Shamu said...

It makes my head hurt to even think about this.

A.B. said...

Shamu has taken over the torch (pun!) for me so head over to her blog for Project Runway posts.

moi said...

K9: Sheena was a punk rocker . . . ergo, the THINGS I used to do to my hair. I'm surprised it's still talking to me.

NYD: That's funny, right there.

A.B.: I love change! I love that you're now a cigarette smoking squirrel! If I weren't so lazy, I'd reinvent myself, too!

Doris: Can you just imagine how proud her parents must be of her? I'd be all: "Uh, People? Not. My. Spawn."

Emma: You know, I think I'm kinda groovin' on Kenley now. For reals. I NEEDS me that bridesmaid dress.

Wendy: I hear ya. If only I was smart enough to find something to sue about then it would be fiat dollar bills for everyone, on Moi!

Shamu: You and NYD need to get together and start a comedy team for sure.

A.B.: Just got back home – running!

The Troll said...

A blonde is driving along when she sees another blonde attempting to paddle a canoe in the middle-of-the-desert. She slams on the brakes and bellows:

"HEY IDIOT! IT'S PEOPLE LIKE YOU WHO GIVE US A BAD NAME! YOU'RE PADDLING AGAINST THE CURRENT!"

Big Shamu said...

More tonight for Project Runaway. I wouldn't mind being half of a comedy team in Japan if I got paid in sushi. And tempura. And noodles....

czar said...

My occasionally intelligent son tried to dye his own hair after having a professional do it. He didn't realize the specifics (didn't bother asking his mom) about having to go from one color to another to another and not just making some big jump. So he ended up with orange hair . . . arriving at the college that a few months before had given him a full tuition-and-fees scholarship with something that looked like I Love Lucy filtered through some bad mescaline. Thankfully, he went to some hair salon in the town where he was and got somewhere close to his original color.

Me, I either just shave it all off or let it grow long enough to where I start playing with it like a nervous 14-year-old girl. What my hair looks like ranks right up there on my list of concerns with the political makeup of the town council of Moose Jaw, Saskatchewan. No offense to Moose Jaw, of course.

moi said...

Troll: Good one. Another cousin of mine used to send me the funniest blonde jokes. Wish I could remember a few.

Shamu: Well, it's a brave new world out there. The possibilities are endless . . .

Czar: Few people realize the first step in blonde is usually carrot orange. Been there. Done that. Only the blisters prevented me from doing it again.

The Troll said...

CHOMP! CHOMP! CHOMP!


Yummmmmmmmmmm. Tiger!

moi said...

Troll: Fried gator. Sauteed gator. Steamed gator. Gator gumbo. Gator po' boys. Gator etouffee. Gator shoes and gator handbags – we LOVE US SOME GATOR!

Wow, that was awkward said...

This reminds me of the Hooters girl that sued her employer after she won a sales contest. The prize was a Toy Yoda. Apparently they were only told of the prize verbally so she was pissed off when when she got a wrinkly green doll instead of new wheels.

The Troll said...

Pierre and Boudreaux went fishing in Pierre's boat but were not doing very good.
They came across Alphonse in a boat loaded with fish. Pierre asked Alphonse what his secret was. Alphonse said, "Jes go out through that pass over dere until the water gets fresh. Stop dere and drop yer line."

All excited, Pierre fired up the motor and headed through the pass.

When they got a little ways out, he told Boudreaux to fill up a bucket and taste the water. Boudreaux complied and said, "It's still salty, Pierre!"

Pierre went further out and told Boudreaux to taste the water again. Boudreaux said the same thing, "It's still salty, Pierre!"

This went on for hours and it was starting to get dark, and they were in the middle of nowhere, when Pierre said to taste the water one last time.

Boudreaux replied, "But Pierre, there's no more water in the bucket!"

moi said...

WTWA: Oh, those silly Hooters girls! They do grow them dumb.

Troll: Dang. I need to find some Gator jokes. Oh, wait: http://www.fsukxaz.com/GatorJokes.html

ThursdayNext said...

LOL I love your tag. I still wear my "Brunettes Have More Fun" tee from Urban Outfitters. My Prince preferred blondes...until he met me. ;)

Wicked Thistle said...

"...and had to stay home and wear hats most of the time."

I love this girl.

having my cake said...

Dont talk to me about hair dye! My teenager keeps changing colours and most of it ends up on my bathroom carpet and the shower fittings! Grrrrrr....

moi said...

Thursday: Hey, I need me one of those tee shirts :o)!

Wicked: You have nothing to worry about, you natural blondie, you. Unless you're really black as a crow under there.

Cake: When I was in high school, we used Kool-Aide, which stained everything as well. I sympathize. How long 'til college :o) ?