Sunday, February 20, 2011

Haiku Mondays: PERFUME

One fifty bottles

Amber, gold, and green. How much

Perfume is too much?

* * *

As the winner of last week's Haiku Monday competition, I was given the option of hosting/judging/choosing the theme for this week. This way, we all get to share the judging duties (which are hard!) and our esteemed Haiku Monday originator, Troll, gets to participate as an actual competitor.

So, without further ado, this week's theme is:


I've also added a new rule, which should make judging this go-round a little less stressful: you may write as many haiku as you wish, but please choose only ONE for my judging consideration. Post that one haiku here in the comments section, but do let me know if you're up at your blog with visuals and/or other haiku.

In keeping with the theme, the winner of this week's haiku will be the recipient of three 'fumes from my personal collection. All three are considered unisex scents, which means they can be worn by a man or a woman, and represent a cross section of styles and notes. If you don't personally wear perfume, these can be used as room sprays or to scent your linens. You can even give the dog or cat a spritz or two.

Demeter Fragrance Library Honeysuckle Cologne 1 ounce:
One of the more interesting soliflores (single note floral scents) around, this starts off all sweet and innocent, young love goes to the prom with her Gunny Sax gown and Bonnie Bell Lip Smacker kisses, but then five minutes later, morphs into something carrying a leather riding crop who orders you off the dance floor and onto the back of her BSA, screaming you off into the deep black night while your parents pace the floor mumbling, “But he’s always been such a GOOD boy!”

Lot of five, 1ml spray samples of Thierry Mugler A*Men:
The men’s version of Thierry Mugler’s ground-breaking 1992 Angel for women, A*Men is distinguished by the same first-ever gourmand olfactory accord: a mouthwatering (or barf-inducing, depending on your POV) blend of vanilla, lemon, chocolate, and patchouli. A*Men adds as well a hint of lavender and something metallic, like the taste left in your mouth after you suck on a spoon. But in the end, it’s still more gourmand than barbershop. In fact, the one and only time I ever wore A*Men out in public, a woman sitting in back of me at the theater kept asking, “Donuts; who’s eating donuts?”

Chanel Cristalle EDP- 4ml travel size:
The original Cristalle is a delightfully sunny side up eau de toilette perfect for spritzing on in the heat of summer. This 1994 follow up is something slightly more serious. Top notes include mandarin orange, lemon, and peach, while the middle notes of jasmine and honeysuckle arrive about 30 minutes later, overlain with the earthy edge of basil. The dry down is a classic blend of vetiver, and oakmoss. If there was a signature perfume for the aloof, tall cool blonds of the world, the kind of stiletto-ed, sharp-pressed suited gals that quietly keep their tycoon bosses humming, Cristalle EDP would be it.

* * *

So, go forth and haiku. Entries will be accepted until midnight EST tomorrow and I'll announce a winner sometime on Tuesday.


Jenny said...

Is this a Haiku contest or just another way for you to pimp out your perfume? I love the name and your description of A*Men. Either way, here's my one and only:

A deep scent of sweet
Combined with sand and water
Cologne of my day

Thanks for judging and I loved reading this post.

chickory said...

cristalle was my fave in the 30's. lately i wear hersipides an insanely green fragrance. Mixed with the Dirt you sent, im a walking advert for home grown. grrrrrhahaha i submit the coppertone haiku or the school lunch yeast rolls?

sparringK9 said...

my entry is here

you know, if you want a man to make love to you, you need to smell like a sugar cookie. (thats what they say) or was it the thing where you soaked up the sweet from your inner thigh and used that as perfume....grherhaha

anyway, judge my yeast roll haiku.

sparringK9 said...

er, sweat. damn you Freud!

moi said...

Boxer: Niiiiiiiice! And, yes, I am selling/giving away a certain portion of my collection to "edit" it down to a manageable size and make room for some vintages I'm interested in.

Chickory: Green 'fumes are some of my favorites. Cristalle is a brilliant example, as is Calyx. And I LOVE suntan lotion scents: Bronze Goddess by Estee Lauder and Serge Lutens' Datura Noir are my two faves.

K9: Also: bacon. Men love the smell of bacon. Hey, "skank" is a highly prized note in perfume. Witness: Joy and Rochas Femme.

darkfoam said...

lmao at chickory's freudian slip .. :)
i heard it's pumpkin scent that makes men weak in the knees .. :)

i do have a haiku. i need to check on it to see if it's ready for it's debut though .. :)

darkfoam said...

and voila, here it is:

fragrant springtime air!
then car squishes hapless skunk.
odiferous stench...

darkfoam said...

you create scents?

Jenny said...

bwahahahah to Chickory's slip.

I'm up, I meant to say that earlier.

moi said...

foam: Most excellent entry; thanks for playing! Skunk, in addition to skank, is also a prized note in perfumery. I have a kit of three dozen of the most common essences used in perfume and while I mess around with them, no, I wouldn't say I "create" scents. Mostly, I collect them, analyze them, study their history, etc.

fishy said...

I'm up!
Dithering about which ONE to post for judging. Back in a minute.

LOL @ K9's b/w cafeteria photo! Not to mention her sweet thigh sweat ...

moi said...

Fishy: Say sweet thigh sweat three times fast!

Blowfish said...

Fishy's gill delights
My scales stand erect, sniffing

Pam said...

Blowfish! Yowza!!!! Wink wink nudge nudge!

Here's mine:

Obsession; Polo;
Drakkar Noir; Cool Water; Men's
fragrance works for me

Milk River Madman said...

Chanel number five
Maybe a little jasmine
What does Coulter where

darkfoam said...

i'm also up with some visuals accompanying the haiku.

moi said...

Blowfish: Welcome! Nicely done. And thanks for the chutney!

Pam: You are the first to deal directly with perfume as an object! I wear a lot of men's scents, too. Have you tried Stetson? Surprisingly good. Also, Bulgari Black—vanilla and burnt rubber. Mmmmmmmm.

MRM: Did you mean "wear?" Otherwise, most excellent haiku. Nice guess on No. 5, too, which is one of the more abstract, architectural, and angular florals in existence. I totally see Anne in it.

Foam: Cool. I'll be over soon.

Master Basho's Ghost said...

Lady Butterfly
perfumes wings by floating
over the orchid.

I'm up with a visual.

Anonymous said...

Baker's Math

Undaunted Baker:
Cinnamon intoxicates!
13 scented sins.

Pam said...

I thought i was the only one who did that (wear men's cologne sometimes) ... anyway, it is two levels of "works" if you know what I mean ....

moi said...

Master B.: That's so pretty, I'm going to type it out and put it on my fridge.

Troll: I like this one a lot, too, even if I'm not quite sure what it means. A baker's dozen of scented sins . . . hmmmm. Also, cinnamon is one of my all time favorite notes. It's often paired with its smell-alike cousin, carnation, to give great oriental perfumes like Opium (cinnamon and sandalwood), Obsession (cinnamon and citrus), and Tabac Blond (carnation and leather) their opulence and lift.

Pam: Heck no. I say, wear whatever smells good to you. Same goes for men—no reason at all why they shouldn't wear "feminines." I once convinced a good male friend of ours to try a dose of vintage Shalimar parfum I'd just nicked for nothing at an antique store. I think he did it purely to humor me, but as the stuff dried down, it smelled better on him than it did on me.

Pam said...

It works for me .... but it also WORKS FOR ME.

fishy said...

Use the trash can icon on Blowfish!
OMG, invite him to one little judging and look what happens.
Be right back, I need to find the ammo...

moi said...

Pam: Yup. I know what you mean.

Fishy: I dunno, I think it's a pretty sweet compliment :o)

Jenny said...

Did Blowfish really post a Haiku?


Milk River Madman said...

Where, wear, ware.... I don't know what the hell I mean. I'm knot on my game write now. Haven't had a good knights sleep in more than a few daze.

Ghostly Collaborators said...

The King's Renga


Kentucky Roses.
Maryland Black-Eyed Susans.
New York Carnations.


Those subtle scented garlands
draped in majesty upon HIM.


Nostrils flare, A mare
is nearby and ready too.
Covered in clover.


In Japan a renga starts with a hokku of 5-7-5 sound units by one of the guests - usually the most honored or experienced. This is followed by the second verse of 7-7 sound units, called the waki (脇?, "side"), and then by the third verse of 5-7-5 sound units, called the daisan (第三?, lit., "the third").

Buzz Kill said...

Well, I had this one all cued up but Foam beat me to the punch. The Pudge and I came accross this - this morning:

Crumpled carcass lay
Black and white centered on stripe
Essence lingers on.

So plan B is this one, submitted for judgement:

Chilies greet forlorn
Soldier, day's end crock potted
Mexican goodness.

The Mrs is gone and we're eating chili for dinner - woohoo. And I was getting stangely turned on by Chicky and Moi's comments. I've been alone too long (1 day). Bwahahahaha

moi said...

Boxer: I think he has all the ladies fanning themselves . . . and Fishy's after him with a shotgun.

MRM: :o) Know, doode, you knead to take a brake and chyll.

Ghosts: That sounds like it would be fun at a party. Sort of like, what's it called, interactive storytelling? Or, it could even be done among this group . . .

Buzz: The smell of roasting chiles—nothing like it. Great haiku. Oh, and after dinner, are you going to sit around in your tee shirt and boxers, clutching the remote and burping beer?

Unbiased Third Party said...

I think Troll's haiku is the best and like Moi's idea on renga.

Perhaps, when he wins, troll could hold a bunnin kogyo and serve as teishu with Moi as the kyaku and Master's Basho's ghost as sosho.

Or a Renga could be done separate from the haiku contest. Perhaps at the next blog summit after the customary topless pillow fight. Or perhaps bunnin online.

P.S. Where ARE the promised topless pillow fight photos?

darkfoam said...

i really, really, really, really liked blowfish's haiku ..

moi said...

Unbiased: Ow. That's a lot to Google. My head hurts. Photos are locked in vault of Pillow Fight Productions somewhere in the hillbilly hills of North Georgia. Once we are in receipt of the correct number of grenade launchers deemed necessary to fully arm the North Georgia Mountains you-know-what's, then, depending on how we feel, the movement of the stars, and whether or not we've gotten enough chocolate for that day, we might release one half of one percent of the photos. Or: Go ask Chickory.

Foam: I do believe he is quite he clevah man.

Jenny said...


Karl said...

Good afternoon Moi,

Gee whiz, y'all have been busy.

I think Blowfish should win with beginner's luck. Although I have to admit my perspective has been skewed by imagining Chickory's sweet sweaty thighs.

The first two are for fun and the last is to judge.

Blown about on air,
from field and trees, may smell sweet.
Now prepare to sneeze.

Grenade launcher trade
Militia propaganda
For pictures they hide

Mother's sweet scent
as nature comes into bloom
Spring's fine perfume

moi said...

Boxer: Do we need that on a tee shirt, ya think?

Karl: I know; it's been a crazy day, thanks in large part to Blowfish. I wonder where he's hiding? Very pretty haikus; your first one makes me laugh—ain't that the truth! Your submitted one, however, is missing a syllable in the first and last lines (4-7-4). But you have time to fix it!

fishy said...

He is not hiding. I have threatened amputations if he touches a keyboard.

Karl said...

My apologies, perhaps this will do:

Earth mother's sweet scent
as nature comes into bloom
Her spring fine perfume

moi said...

Fishy: Make him buy you a bottle of your favorite perfume. Which is? I'd love to know.

Karl: Lovely, thank you!

Kymical Reactions said...

a. am very glad to see you're doing the AI snark station. I'll be over this week to discuss. :)

b. am hoping to have an update posted this week. But - the big news comes a week from Wednesday. So, may wait until then so I have something to talk about!

c. here is my entry:

Ralph Lauren's Romance
or Vicky's Very Sexy.
Pheromones galore.

moi said...

Kym!: I'm so happy you dropped by! I look forward to your news, but in the meantime, thanks for your perfume-ed haiku. There's a Victoria's Secret 'fume I like a lot, but I never remember the name. Maybe it's Very Sexy? Lauren's Romance I don't think I've sniffed, but his Lauren (vintage, original formulation) is forever close to my heart.

fishy said...

In the cupboard are three:
Channel No. 22
Decleor Aromessence Iris


Bottle design by Louis,
Henri, presents JOY

moi said...

Fishy: You made a decision! Yay! As for your 'fumes . . . oh man oh man: No. 22. That big effervescent while floral bomb to end all white floral bombs. My Holy Grail in vintage formula. I love all Chanels except No. 5, which I just can't get to work for me. And Joy, well. What can one say about one of the most symphonic florals around? Two years ago, Boxer gifted me three vintage bottles from her MIL's collection: EDP, EDT, and Eau de Joy. I was beside myself. I still am. Iris is one of my faves, but I haven't tried the Decleor. On the list it goes .

Roses said...

OMG! I can't believe it's taken me this long to discover you're a perfume nut too!

I used to work in fragrance and when I did, I had 18 bottles on my shelf. I've had to cut them down a bit to 11.

I just thought I'd pop by and say that. No haiku for me today.

moi said...

Roses: You, too? It's a sickness, I know, but I don't care. How fun! I'll be by later to pick your brains :o)

(P.S. Eleven bottles? Oh, I admire your restraint!)

Aunty Belle said...

44 comments?? What has I missed??

I done played hooky--but come see why, Moi.

Now, to read all these comments...