Monday, November 22, 2010

Oye, Vatos

Show taught some lessons, homes:

1. Don't mess with the Cholos.
2. Don't mess with the Cholos' abuelas.

In my experience, few things in life are badder ass or tighter knit than a band of Mexicans. Hita and hito could go on a killing spree that makes Jeffry Dahmer look like an anorexic and family will fly in from corners of the universe you didn't know existed to spin a web of support so co-dependent, law enforcement is exhausted before they even start the paperwork.

Which is why I would have loved to have seen direct, hand-to-hand combat between the zombies and Guillermo and his gang. But, as it turns out, Guillermo is a bad ass with a heart, three trembling chihuahuas, and the Herculean task of just trying to do the right thing for all the old folks that were left behind when the zombies came a munchin' (what, zombies don't like old people?) Still, it was an effectively emotional sequence, one of the few of the entire evening.

Let's run down the clunkers and the highlights:


The opening fishing scene between sisters Amy and Andrea dripped with the kind of soapy emotion that gives me goosebumps in a bad way, until a light bulb went off in my head and I was all, ruh roh. This must mean one of these two chicas is gonna bite it. Goody.

The whole Jim-goes-crazy-with-the-hole-digging sequence seemed strangely flat to me, especially given what it ended up portending. If the zombie apocalypse actually produced a psychic or two, then they're going to have to be more compelling than dwoopy Jim.

Where was Lourdes? Mexican men, for all their machismo, are rarely without their bitches. This show suffers from a decided lack of interesting female characters and I would have loved to see a couple cholas with their eyeliner and hair poofs fixing Daryl with the ol' el ojo.


Sheriff Rick gets his guns and his hat back, thus completing his hot-man-of-principle-and-action persona.

Zombie fish fry. Truly scary stuff with gore flinging galore. Plus, Irritating Amy bites it.

Which of course, begs the question, who will have the courage to chop her head off? Where now for our merry band of survivors? Stay? Go? And, most importantly, where the heck is Merle?


sparringK9 said...

redeemed show. thanks to the mexican gang turned old people care takers. man that mexican aunt reminded me of my mama. and grrrrrrherhahaha to the chola eyebrow look. si.

love the zombie scene where they over run the camp. very satisfying to see ed and amy bite the dust. but hey -isnt zombie blood a deadly liquid? would you be laying up on your soon to be zombie sister?

i was filled with tension waiting for amy to spring up as a zombie. wonder how long the incubation period is. i hope asian boy never gets eaten because he is my favorite person on the show -but i do love sheriff. and, weird redneck bro might be growing on me...jeez maybe ive been too hard on people. maybe i would be a rage filled short fused country gal if the zombie thing were to hit here.

i mean, who can say for sure, how they will react to the ZA?

the women are a big snooooooooooze on this show. i do not identify with any of them.

thanks for re-capping the show, moi~ only 2 more to go

Big Shamu said...

I have to say I loved that they messed with our misconceptions on the whole gang o' vatos scenerio however the dumbass who caused the whole stupid thing by screaming like a frightened rabbit needs to have his tongue pierced to the roof of his mouth. And when the old folks were revealed, who didn't flash to the abandoned of Katrina?
Again, I must point out, living in a soft sided tent in the land of the Zombies is just dumber than dumb. Then again some wife beaters are not exactly Rhodes Scholars to begin with.

Zombie Gore Level - 9 Dismembered Heads.

moi said...

K9: Hey, señorita, I was just thinking the same thing about Daryl. Kinda . . . um . . . you know. Growy They have GOT to get this zombie gore shit in order. So, Daryl shoots the cholo in the ass with one of his heretofore zombie-gut-coated arrows and what do you bet he doesn't zombify? And Jim's whole face is slathered with the stuff and you know he isn't going to zombify because he's the one who is "touched." Grrrrrrr.

Shamu: I originally loved your idea about moving up into the trees. Then I read how Joan Baez recently fell out of hers . . . Although, I'm not so sure hippies would survive the zombie apocalypse. No, no! Make WAR, not love!

Big Shamu said...

I don't know Moi, I'm thinking the stink of patchouli and unwashed feet would keep even the hungriest zombie away.

sparringK9 said...

right on shamy. tent? no way! i would move into the Four Seasons.

moi said...

Bergdorf's. I'd definitely head for Bergdorf's.

Pam said...

We actually saw about 2.5 minutes of this the other night ... but someone else was in control of the remote so it didn't stay on the channel long enough to figure out what was going on .... But wow, what a recap. I wonder what you could do for Project Runway and American Idol??!!!

Anonymous said...

Damn, truly cool post. How can I find that subscription?

Sara Meetington
best bug detector

moi said...

Pam: I hate it when someone else has control of the remote.

Anonymous: So, once you detect the bugs, then what do you do? Blast 'em with a shotgun?

Heff said...

One thing's FOR SURE -

Merle ISN'T off somewhere giving himself a two-fisted hand job.

Milk River Madman said...

Alright. Looks like I have some DVR to watch over the weekend. I've recorded the first however many episodes. I think its five. I haven't watched anything but the very beginning of episode 1 so I couldn't read much of this post. Spoiler alert for me. I'll get caught up so I can hang with y'all. Loved the letter to Johnny Depp BTW.

moi said...

Heff: No, most likely he found some zombified chica to do it for him.

Milk River: All you need is a couple snow days and you'll be caught up.

Big Shamu said...

Wow, what a visual, Merle getting a blow job from the Crawler of Epi 1.

Karl said...

Good evening Moi,

Say something nice or don't say anything at all.
Say something nice for don't say anything at all.
Say something nice for don't say anything at all.

Hope you're having a good evening.

moi said...

Shamu: Yewwwwwwwwwwww! That's going to stick for a while.

Karl: Don't worry; only two shows left.