Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Movie Clip Wednesdays: Most Sucky Sequel Evah

Hands down, Transporter 3. Which I hate with a white hot passion so white hot, it doesn't even matter how many times Jason Statham takes off his shirt, and believe me, if there's one thing that can make me perk up during a sleepy action flick, it's Jason Stratham taking off his shirt.

Unless he's doing so at the command of one of the most annoying female leads to ever pout her way through a B-Movie. Look, the first Transporter was by no means high or even medium cinematic art. But it was good dumb fun and featured enough shirt-taking off and other hair-raising action to keep things interesting. The second one? Not so much, but it didn't make me want to throw Cheetos at the screen, either.

But this is just horrifying. And embarrassing. And so not sexy. Where did the producers find this broad? Some kind of discount clearing house for all the heroin-cheeked East European models that Marc Jacobs didn't hire?

It's no small accident perhaps that You Tube has disabled embedding by request. But if you want to cringe and weep, then click here. And then join me as I mentally riddle this little red-headed twerpette with a slew of virtual bullets.

Then help everyone else do the same:


Jenny said...

The thing about sequels to movies we liked? We hate the sequal with just as much passion.

Happy MCW. I join in your hatred for this sequel. I think all sequels shoudl be outlawed.

(or turned into Zombie sequels?)

Princess said...

Thanks for the heads up..
Won't bother with any of these.
I like Boxers idea of Zombie sequels tho...

I'm loading up as we speak...

Joanna Cake said...

Ruf and I watched this recently. We quite enjoyed it on a 'lie on the couch and vegetate post orgasm way'

I agree she was rubbish but it was Jason Statham taking off his shirt! That on its own stops it from being worse than Jaws 3 :)

sparringK9 said...

Jason statham looks good. he does. in the old school non metro sexual way. never saw this - not sure i ever saw the first one all the way through. you cant have a bad choice on this weeks theme. much harder would have been to select a good sequel. or sequel better than the original. is there one?

Not CLerks2!

happy mcw~

my entry is my entry is here

moi said...

Boxer: I think some sequels are done in earnest and just go very, very wrong (Matrix). Other are "cocaine nosejobs," made by a bunch of tweaking hollyweirdos looking to score a quick buck. Whatever the case, they should not exist. If the first film is good enough, leave it alone. If not, don't remind us of its suck assedness.

Princess: Yes, zombies in any form are GO!

Joanna: Hah! Okay, then. I'll also give you the red head's sequin Donna Karan mini. But that's IT.

K9: Statham's good looks are of that old-fashioned laconic, block-bodied kind that God needs to make more of right now.

Anonymous said...

Never saw any of those movies but I guess there are gradations of terrible.

happy MCW

Karl said...

Good morning Moi,

I missed all three, actually I'm not sure I ever even heard of them. Not that that's surprising.

A good clip day to you and thank you for the (warning) I mean review.

moi said...

Troll: F+, F, and F-. After that, one really just needs to start shooting.

Karl: I catch a lot of this kind of stuff on those rare, bad weather days when there's nothing else to do but surf the sofa.

Aunty Belle said...

yeah, ok. He coulda gotten the keys if he wanted them the usual way--what a gag-a-thon.

Happy MCW.

Heff said...

I'll take the high road and PASS, lol.

Roses said...

I agree with you completely. I drooled my way through Transporters 1 & 2....3 had me wanting to jump up and down screaming.

Buzz Kill said...

I just saw part of this movie the other day and haven't seen the other 2 at all. This movie reminded me a lot of Hitman,which was OK for a movie based on a video game. This movie is definitely forgetable but I kind of like the Eastern European crack whores they have in them...but that's just me.

Happy MCW!

moi said...

Aunty: I like that: gag-a-thon. It's a scene as embarrassing as a soap opera.

Heff: Hmmmm . . . I need to start charging for these "passes."

Roses: Definitely a devolution.

Buzz: I liked Hitman, actually. The girl was Eurotrash, but at least she could semi-act.

Milk River Madman said...

How is this chick not hot and not making this entire movie AWESOME! Oh, that's right it's a "Transporter" movie. Didn't like the first one but really like the hot redhead. Just take the keys already. But as a man, he's looking for sex and will do what she wants. I had so much more faith in you Jason. Happy MCW. Thanks for playing.

Pam said...

I might could endure the movie to see Jason Stratham taking his shirt off. Luckily, haven't had to endure a Transporter movie yet. But do find him in The Bank Job ... great film! Happy mcw, sorry I have no entry today. But did find you a piece of metal art ;)

moi said...

Milk River: It's like you guys have a Brain Off switch when faced with the possibility of even the mere hint of maybe perhaps getting some nookie.

Pam: Well, you've been too busy having fun traipsing around Texas to play, of course! I'll be right around.

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