Tuesday, August 12, 2008

I Did Not Have Sex With That . . .Wait. What?

I knew it.

I mean, look at him.

Man's got cheating hair.

It's not so much that he looks like a human Ken doll. It's that he looks like a male Barbie. Glossy and kinda dumb. But, mitigated with enough aw shucks Southern Fried charm to save him from being a complete dolt. I blame much of it on the accent. As someone who was snagged by one herself, I'll tell ya, a couple of whiskey slurred vowels and dropped consonants and things can get out of focus real quick.

Still, this makes me wonder: why do the Demochromatics get all the sex pots? Huh? Where are the equivalent Republitards? If you know of any, let me know. In fact, I'm going to put y'all to the test: which current denizen(s) of the Republican party would make you chuck all common sense and go tripping through the tulips?

And don't say Andrew Sullivan.

Yes, he's a hunka, hunka burnin' hawtness.
But he's not actually IN politics.
And he pitches for the other team.


Doris Rose said...

"...kinda dumb" WTF!!!
because he made a mistake? ok.

h said...

Am I still Ambassador to Russia in the Moi Administration? If so, I'll kick Putin's lying ass while using Johnny Boy Edwards as a (semi) Human Shield.

There's lots of hot Republican chicks. As for guys, Jeb's son George gets more than his share of nookie.

Wicked Thistle said...

I don't know, after seeing that sexy butt-whackin' action that Dubya gave Misty May-Treanor in the volleyball sandbox, I might buy back in to the Republican dream. I'd pay money to smack any one of them poleeticians ('pub *or* dem) in the forehead with a fly swatter, though. That would *not* be money wasted.

moi said...

Doris: Not saying he "is" dumb ; just that he looks it. Pretty can go both ways in a man.

Troll: I was thinking just yesterday I need to send you to Georgia. Take Wicked with you and poke that Putin in the chest a little. Russia's a sleeping bear? Well whoopdie doo. We're the eagle that never sleeps.

Wicked: I LOVE the image of you flitting around the country in your flirty skirt and heels bopping our poleeticians on the forehead. Don't mess with the Wicked and her Periomenapausal mindset!

As for Dubya and his kin: I caught hell, HELL from friends and family for once, just ONCE suggesting that Big Shrub and Lil' Shrub possessed a modicum of sex appeal, so long as they kept their mouths shut. So I won't repeat it here.

Gnomeself Be True said...

John Edwards...what a putz.
Worse, all the idiot leftists that bought his snake oil.
You'd think none of them asshats had ever met a used car salesman before.
I'm going to sell t-shirts in Denver,
"I Believe (I'll grab my ankles)!"

Jenny said...

"Man's got cheating hair",

AHAHAHAH - great line!

You should have shown pictures of other men who have tossed their reputations away for a quickie. Du-umb.

Troll is right about Jeb's son - the dude is a hottie.

MommyHeadache said...

Dan Quayle was a bit of a Ken doll too:http://mf3076.k12.sd.us/Year/dan_quayle.jpg

h said...

The Big Difference is this:

Democrat "Men" seem to be incapable of convincing civilian females to sleep with them without pay. Bill Clinton? Virtually all the fat broads he diddled were State or Federal Employees or Campaign Employees. John The Breck Girl Edwards? Some scrawny tramp who his campaign has paid some 1.4 million to do NOTHING except lower her standards and sleep with Edwards. Jessie Jackson? A federally-funded "legislative liaason".

Mark my words, when we find out who Obama is diddling while Horse-Faced Spouse is off "diversity consulting", he or she WILL turn out to be a subordinate employee.

Jenny said...

P.S. I once caught sight of W-Jr wearing a long wool coat and a cowboy hat and I had this flicker of "he looks gooooood".. followed by "WTF?" So I get it.

It will be our secret, right?

moi said...

Iamnot: As far as I'm concerned, there is only one poleetical truism: "How can you tell a politician is lying? Its mouth is moving."

AB: What I'd like to know is, what are these broads thinking? "Oh, goody, he's going to ditch the wifey mid-campaign and cleave unto me?" Double du-umb.

Emma: I knew I could count on you to come through in a pinch! Wonder if he ever wavered from the marital path?

Troll: And that, ladies is gentlemen, is your Daily Dose of Conservative Snark. Thank you. He's here all week.

moi said...

AB: Once again, you prove that I am not alone in my madness. Thank you.

sparringK9 said...

whats your problem? dosnt a "wide stance" turn you on? grrrherha

Aunty Belle said...

I needed a good snicker this mornin'...heh heh.

Edwards is, (like Clinton) --sorry folks--jes PWT (poor white trash; nuthin' wrong wif' poor, or white, jes' the trash) who chased ambulances fer hire. The gall to bounce a bimbo while ON the CAMPAIGN TRAIL is a famous Eye-talian gesture to the voters. Never mind the heinous matter of the cancer stricken wife.

Course, I ain't nabbin' Edwards cause he is a demoncrat, since Newt Gin-grinch did the same: ran out on a wife durin' her chemo.

As fer GWB bein' sexy, reckon he is. He's easy in his own skin--ain't tryin' to pose as somebody he ain't.(as Edwards and Clinton do) Now, ya' may'nt like who he is, but he ain't tryin' to be somethang else an' has its own allure.

Besides, a fella who takes on a threat to the country despite all the critics, despite the plunging polls, he's got backbone (even if he makes mistakes) and thas' the essence of maleness.

The best thang about a truly sexy fella is he ain't tryin' to be sexy, he jes' is. Take note men-folk, take note.

BTW, If I'se still Ambassador to the UN in Pres Moi's administration, then Putin is toast.

Aunty Belle said...

Oh wait...Sullivan--gag--okay, he is cutish, but but that smug "gotcha" attitude is smarmy.

Fer those wif' curiosity, I posted the comparison of the Dark Knight (Batman)to GWB on the BACK Porch.

MommyHeadache said...

I think Quayle was too dumb even to locate a willing vagina, although they do say even a blind squirrel finds a nut once in a while!

Mandy_Fish said...

"Glossy and kind of dumb."


You make me happy.

Wicked Thistle said...

I knew it wouldn't be long before someone brought up squirrels again.

moi said...

Aunty: Newt was perhaps aptly nicknamed :o). We saw the Dark Knight on Friday. I was not as impressed as 99.9 percent of the rest of the move goers in America. Although I do like Senor Bale.

Emma: You are, as usual, seam-ripplingly funny. Speaking of which: Love the new avatar. Did you fine the gal behind you for a Fashion Felony of the First Order?

Mandy: Normally, not a bad trait in a man. But in a poleetician? Non.

Wicked: Hush, will ya?

The Poet Laura-eate said...

'Tis true that the politicians with hair get the most votes - cheating or not!