Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Geneti-Link


I took my niece to a doctor's appointment the other day (on occasion, along with Aunt Moi the Buyer of All Things Cool, I also get to be Aunt Moi, Chauffeur).

In the elevator up from the parking garage, she remarked: "I hope they have good magazines. It's the worst, having to wait forever and all they have are golf magazines and Jehovah's Witness pamphlets."

"What do you consider 'good magazines'?" I asked.

"Like, you know, celebrity gossip magazines. All the stuff you shouldn't read but want to anyway but are too embarrassed to buy and bring home."

Oh, stop. You know you would have fought her for the People, too.

18 comments:

czar said...

I'd be very happy with golf magazines and Jehovah's Witnesses pamphlets. But I'd also settle for Us magazine, People's mentally deficient little brother. Celebrities Are Just Like Us!

lx said...

Amazingly, my primary physician has current subscriptions to a variety of magazines! The good stuff, like Road & Track and Car And Driver!

chickory said...

i try not to flip through the diseased pages of dogeared doctors' office mags. we have smart phones now! Niece is correct to recognize, though.

Troll said...

I bring my tablet or laptop but...

I was referred to a Doctor once who had PBS propaganda blaring on the TV in the waiting room on continual loop.

I cancelled the appointment and asked my insurance company to drop him.

Ron Paul's Brain's Ghost said...

Back when I was still attached to that scrawny little body, I had National Review in the waiting room.

Nowadays it, (Ron Paul's brainless body), has photos of Mitt Romney's butt all over his office.

czar said...

That's nice, Troll. I talk to the management in every business that has the poor judgment on many levels to run Fox News -- and not even necessarily for the obvious propaganda, lies, or general low-IQ presentation of their daytime programming. At least PBS is low-key. I don't need to hear people screaming over each other to be heard when I go into a bank, whether it's Fox News or some horror movie with stupid blondes carrying the action. Oh, wait . . .

I'm totally fed up with people walking around with smartphones, tablets, laptops. Does no one realize the value of silence anymore? Being in a place where you can just let your mind do nothing? Taking a moment not to be connected, not to be informed, not to be entertained. What's the harm?

In total contradiction to that statement, whenever I go to a place like a doctor's office, I always bring work with me. I like being paid to kill time.

moi said...

Czar: US magazine has devolved into something close to the National Enquirer. Not that I'm complaining. I wait, with baited breath, for the day Brangelina finally go their separate ways.

lx: I'll do Road & Track on occasion. The worst place is my gyno. It's all parenting magazines. I'm all . . . um, can I get a VOGUE here?

Chickory: Bwahahahahaha! How long DO germs last on the printed page, I wonder?

Troll: Now, see, if you and Czar could just get together, we could rid all waiting rooms of ANYTHING on the television. Maybe work on the airports, too.

RPG: I used to read National Review when what's-his-name (now probably martini-ing it up with Hitchens in heaven) was in charge. Nowadays, not so much.

Czar: Dude, there are some great shows on Fox News. The Five, for one, and Red Eye is exceptional--the only show on television other than Family Guy or South Park that has anarchic verve. It is by no means entirely Fundie Frieda. That being said, I don't want any television show blaring when I'm in a doctor's office or anywhere outside the house.

I was just thinking the other day, when the story about those parents who got thrown off the plane for misbehaving children came on, about all the things we have to plug them into these days just to shut them the bleep up. Being alone with oneself in silent contemplation without going all drug addict jittery is an art that must be taught at a young age, and we're losing it.

chickory said...

recently i saw a family at dinner with the kids all plugged into various gaming devices -not interacting with each other. or even looking up. while eating they still worked on their machines! I thought - wow - they are going to be completely non social twits. I agree with Czar that there is a lost art to sitting in silence - i get lots of that without sitting in a dr's office. But more to the point, I would never have it where my phone makes noise in a public forum. I read d-listed in silence: the celebrity rag for celebrity culture haters. it is so vulgar. but so funny.

moi said...

Chickory: D Listed is great! I wonder, too, what we will evolve into. People who speak in short, sharp phrases, who cannot be alone yet are totally self-involved, whose fingers eventually adapt into small pointy-ended appendages perfect for pushing leeetle tiny buttons, but not much else.

czar said...

@Moi: I was politic enough to say "daytime" Fox programming, if you'll note. What people do at night is their own business. But, yeah, I'd just as soon establishments of any kind not try to keep adults pacified by the perpetual blaring of a television set.

I've noted that if I'm in a doctor's waiting room or anywhere similar and a TV is on -- and I have access to it -- I quickly just turn it off. No one coming in after me ever thinks to turn it on either. But it'll suck the energy out of a room no matter what channel it's on.

Boxer said...

I've been waiting more in the Vet office recently and I've discovered "Dog Fancy." I typically learn one thing each time, but now that Chickie pointed out the petri-dish potential, I think I'll stick with my phone. I read work emails and I'm able to get some things done. People magazine used to be good, but nowadays the pictures are usually already been seen online so I find I flip through it much faster than before.

Boxer said...

adding D-Listed to my phone.

moi said...

Czar: Have you also noticed, Fox News notwithstanding, that it's nearly impossible to actually "watch" television outside the confines of one's own home?

Boxer: And Angry Birds. Don't forget Angry Birds. Do the Seasons ever freakin' END?

Boxer said...

not if they makers of Angry Birds have any say over it. :-)

czar said...

@Moi: What I have noticed is that it's nearly impossible to actually not watch television inside the confines of my own home. I couldn't tell you how to turn on the TV in my house -- other than to push the button on the set -- and it's a total guessing game which control to use and which buttons to push to change the channels and stuff, when I actually sit down and turn it on myself, which is about once every three years. If the czarina were gone, someone could steal it, and except for the space available in the room, my life would not change one iota. If the set is turned on to the DVD, forget it. I only see what the czarina asks I watch with her (about 2 hours total a week, max) and what I see outside the house -- which is way too much, such as in the Y locker room . . . so seeing any TV outside the house is jarring, because seeing it inside the house is not typically my go-to experience. Makes it that much worse. It's not that I hate TV. I just never voluntarily turn it on or make a decision to watch anything on it. And whenever I'm alone in a public room where I have access to it (like at the Y), I turn it off. Just doing my bit to end noise in the world.

pam said...

I must find D-listed. Haven't heard of it. Sounds right down my alley. And, thank you Chickie, but I had never ever EVER thought about the diseased dog-eared pages of the magazines at doctor's office. YIKES! Never again, I tell you! I don't have a smart phone but I do have an Itouch and usually remember to bring my own book or magazine. What I hate, loathe and despise more than ANYTHING, though, is the blaring TV. I am not ashamed to admit that I have asked for the remote control so I can turn the dang thing down. Usually it is blaring with what passes for cartoons these days ... keeping the little ones hyped up into a frenzy.

moi said...

Czar: And I'm such a television junkie. I keep up with at least a good dozen shows . . . most of what's on the tube far out-classes what's coming out of the movie industry these days.

Pam: Oh, yeah, don't even get me started on television as babysitter. Nothing new, but it seems worse today.

czar said...

@Moi: I don't doubt it. Many good friends (and the czarine) rave about TV shows of the last few years. I rarely hear anyone talking about movies.