Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Just Like Chicken, Only Tougher

Lance Morrow once said: "A rattlesnake loose in the living room tends to end all discussion of animal rights."

Which is funny, sure, but totally unnecessary. Everyone knows when you find a rattlesnake* in your living room, you put it in a bucket and relocate it to your next door neighbor's property.




*Hmmmm . . . the more I look at him (her?), the more I'm thinking this is a juvie bull snake or gopher snake . . . it sure got all pissy with me when I poked at it, but now that I take a closer look at these photos, its head isn't triangular enough.



25 comments:

Boxer said...

bwahahahaah - how nice to let your neighbor in on the "fun".

Can't see this guy taking a bullet, so relocating is probably the best defense.

But.... Moi... SHUDDER. Glad it has a happy ending.

Aunty Belle said...

heh, I'll stick wif' ole Lance.

Fishy had it right: Apple bitin' woman who grooves wif' snakes? Somethin' about that.....

I needs your vote please--on the Front Porch --when ya unwind that baby snake from yore typin' fingers.

Big Shamu said...

In the house? It was in the house? Finally a use for squirrels. Throwing them at snakes.

Dani said...

He's gorgeous! It's so refreshing to meet someone that doesn't want to kill every snake that comes near.

moi said...

Boxer: My neighbor has allowed his dog to bark 24/7 for the past fifty gazillion years, despite my ever-so-diplomatic notes asking him to remedy the situation. Thankfully, we cannot hear the poor canine when we go to bed at night, so I haven't really gone all ballistic on his ass about it. However, I do relocate all rattlesnakes and dead animal carcasses on his property. Passive aggressive much? You betcha.

Aunty: Snakes, Eve, pit bulls. I'm always pulling for those who get an unfair bad rap :o).

Shamu: Not this one. He was under the porch a few feet from where my step dad was having a siesta.

Dani: I like having snakes around. Great pest control and most of the time, you never even see them, even the rattlers. One of our dogs instinctively knows they're dangerous (he alerted me to one that did get in the house two years ago), and will stand at a safe distance barking his head off. I'm not sure about the new dog, yet, though, so baby snakes had to be relocated. They're more dangerous than the adults because they have yet to learn how to control their venom.

Big Shamu said...

Whew! I can deal (from a safe distance) when they are outside but in my house changes the vectors.

Doris Rose said...

Never a dull moment, eh?

Heather Cherry said...

HAHAHAHAHA, that's awesome. Good for you. Hims IS just a behbeh.

Heff said...

I STILL wouldn't get anywhere near that thing !

moi said...

Shamu: But the question remains: would ya eat it?

DR: Nope. But at least out here on the short grass plains we can see 'em coming!

HeatherC: Hopefully, he'll grow up big and strong and bite my neighbor in the butt.

Heff: No way, dude, really? Not even to protect the day lilies?

Big Shamu said...

Oh yeah, I'd at least try it. The real challenge for me would be cooking it.

kmwthay said...

yeah, I don't do snakes. I don't mind them at the safe distance, but I would freak if I found in the house. I'd have to call Billy from VexCon. I love that show.

TROLL Y2K said...

What's it laying on?
I can't tell what it is from this picture.

K9 said...

its beautiful! you could start a fundementalist church with that snake!

Big Shamu said...

What outfit does one wear when handling a snake on Sunday morn?

pamokc said...

In my family, the only good snake is a dead snake and there are only two kinds of snakes in general: If on land, they are a King Cobra and they are heading to our house. If they are in water, they are a deadly water moccasin and they are headed to our house. But you found this guy in your LIVING ROOM??

pamokc said...

PS, grrrrhahahhaha on K9's comment re fundamentalist churches.!

moi said...

Shamu: Gotta be large enough to skin, is the only thing.

kmwthay: I'm amazed by how many people are freaked out by snakes. I'm wondering if it's in our DNA or a cultural thing.

Troll: It's in a bucket we use to relocate snakes when we find them – mostly adult rattlers. The others I leave be. This guy was too small for me to tell what it was. Lil' shit was grumpy, too.

K9:
I would risk the serpent's bite
I would dance around with seven
I would kiss the diamond back
If I knew it would get me to heaven
– Lucinda Williams, "Get Right With God"

Shamu: Depends on the sect. In mine? CHRISTian Louboutins. With a jersey knit wrap dress.

Pam: There are cobras in OKC?

Doris Rose said...

ya know, I saw a little critter just like that next to the garage-6-8" only he was green and black.
Wouldn't wait for a photo op, tho.

Aunty Belle said...

Snake dancin' shoes? Ho ho ho !!! natcherly them shoes from Louboutin is snakeskin...ahahahahaha

Big Shamu said...

AAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH.

Big Shamu said...

(It's not very often I get to play straight...)

Wendy said...

I don't like spiders and snakes. But it'd be OK if I found Jim Stafford in my living room.

fishy said...

Baby snake is not on my menu! Or the hounds. A week or so ago she was flailing her body against the deck door, way too much white of the eyes showing and baying something fierce. Seems a snake was traversing her domain....a harmless but sizeable black snake, and she was running for cover and not thinking about lunch.

Seriously Moi, if I found a snake on my dinner plate, i am pretty sure my first reaction would not be to run for the camera.

Funny new post at the Pond.

the Dread Pirate Rackham said...

snakes are funny that way, aren't they?

yep-he looks like a bull snake. Sure is purdy!