Tuesday, April 14, 2009
Why Can't We Be Friends?
In the six years or so I've been doing volunteer animal advocacy work, I've met all kinds of interesting people. The vast majority are dedicated, focused, and rational, working tirelessly to ensure the welfare of thousands of companion animals. I have also seen many well-meaning people with the best of intentions burn out quickly from the strain, and, really, who can blame them? The work is mentally, physically, and spiritually exhausting.
And then there are the true blue nut jobs. The man who believes all animals living in the U.S. should have the same rights as people under the Constitution. The woman who pays a small fortune to animal control for allowing her four house cats to merrily roam the neighborhood, doing their small part to decimate an already shaky songbird population. Another who dresses her pug up in costume, a different outfit for every day of the week.
But nothing I've seen or experienced can top the German woman who this past Friday took a dive into the pond fronting the polar bear exhibit at the Berlin Zoo. Naturally, someone videotaped the entire thing, and what's most interesting to me is, the expression of happy idiocy on the woman's face right after she lands in the water. Obviously, she "wuvs" animals and just wants to let them know she is their fwend. Either that, or she had access to some really, really good drugs. Then one of the critters and his buddy decide to do what polar bears do best: attack and eat yummy flesh! Mmmmmm . . . tastes like chicken. Ooops, sorry. Make that PORK.
If it weren't for the fact that the bears themselves would have been killed had they been allowed to finish their meal, I would have said, "Meh, have at her." That is, after all, what top-of-the-food-chain mammals do best: Thin. The. Herd.