Friday, March 7, 2008

Don't Go Breakin' Moi's Heart

Remember that song? By Elton John and Kiki Dee? Didn't you just love Kiki? Tres, tres 1970s chick cool (and she sang back up for Dusty for a while, too). And admit it, when this ditty became a mega hit and Elton and Kiki traipsed merrily across the globe pitching it on every daytime talk show and nighttime variety hour, we all thought for one brief instant that maybe, just maybe, Sir Elton's gate actually did swing our way and therefore there was a teensy shred of hope that we could, you know, get him to return our phone calls. Or was that just Moi?


My point, and I think I have one, is that yesterday, a blogger named Kiki tagged Moi. (It's not every day that you run into that name.) I visit Kiki on occasion and so I happily obliged, not because I'm into doing these memes so much as:

A. I'm in a rush to make deadline today so blob posts are running thin.

B. I want you to drop by her place to at least check out her mighty stylin' blog banner. I mean, hello! don't you just dig that sofa? And you gotta wonder: what ARE that gal's super powers? Whatever they are, I want 'em.

Okay, so:

I give you money and send you into the grocery store to pick up 5 items. You can only pick one thing from the following departments, what is it?

1. Produce: Apples (duh)
2. Bakery: Carrot cake
3. Meat: Filet Mignon
4. Frozen: Ben and Jerry's – any flavor
5. Dry goods: Cheetos (puffy)

Let's say we're heading out for a weekend getaway. You're only allowed to bring 3 articles of clothing with you. So, what's in your bag?

1. Impossible!
2. Can't do it!
3. I'd have a girly-girl tantrum and simply refuse to go!

If I was to listen in on one of your conversations throughout the day, what 4 phrases or words would I be most likely to hear?

1. Ivan, come here.
2. Fucking bunnies.
3. Honey bunny, could you _______________ ?
4. Dinner's ready.

So, what 4 things do you find yourself doing every single day, and if you didn't get to do, you probably wouldn't be in the best mood?

1. Early morning walk with da Ivan.
2. 2-3 bazillion cups of coffee.
3. Check out Moi's fave blobs.
4. Meet my work deadlines - you should see what I owe Uncle Sam.

You're driving down the road, and suddenly you're hit with this sense of road rage. What 3 factors probably contributed to it?

1. No turn signals; definitely no turn signals.
2. Crawling along in the fast lane.
3. Really, really old person driving a vintage muscle car 2 mph in the fast lane. I mean, why BOTHER? Give the car to Moi!

Sweet, you just scored a whole afternoon to yourself. We're talking a 3 hour block with nobody around. What 5 activities might we find you doing?

1. Gardening.
2. Cross stitching.
3. Running in the hills.
4. eBaying
5. Baking something yummy.

We're going to the zoo. But, it looks like it could start storming, so it'll have to be a quick visit. What 3 exhibits do we have to get to?

1. Otters
2. Hippos
3. Polar bears

You just scored tickets to the taping of any show that comes on t.v. of your choice. You can pick 4, so what are you going to see?

1. House
2. Project Runway
3. Nip/Tuck
4. The Office

You're hungry for ice cream. I'll give you a triple dipper ice cream cone. What 3 flavors can I pile on for ya?

1. Pistachio
2. Cold Stone Creamery's Licorice (I swear to Gah, the greatest, most underrated flavor evah)
3. Anything chocolatey

Somebody stole your purse/wallet…in order to get it back, you have to name 5 things you know are inside to claim it. So, what's in there?

1. My orthodontia kit.
2. Five bazillion M.A.C. lip glosses.
3. 200 million different colors of red paint chips for the eventual bathroom redux.
4. Candy, candy, Tic-Tacs, candy, more candy.
5. Silver business card holder.

You are at a job fair, and asked in what areas you are interested in pursuing a career. Let's pretend you have every talent and ability to be whatever you wanted, so what 4 careers would be fun for you?

2. Architect.
3. Novelist.
4. Perfumer.

If you could go back and talk to the old you, when you were in high school, and inform yourself of 4 things, what would you say?

1. Pay greater attention in math class – it really is fun.
2. Do whatever you have to do to pay for it, but go away for college.
3. Start running again now; don't wait another ten years.
4. Pay attention to your gut; quit ignoring what it's telling you.

I tag anybody who wants to do this . . .


The Poet Laura-eate said...

Did the fashion police ever arrest Kiki for that dreadful dungaree suit?

Enjoyed the track though.

The Troll said...

Coldstone Creamery rocks. The employees sing at mine. It's hilarious.

Great witty, sassy, moish answers.

iamnot said...

Boy, could I ever tell my HS self a thing or two.

Kiki said...

2. Cold Stone Creamery's Licorice does it taste like black licorice?

Got candy? Me too! ;)

Great answers!!

Gypsy said...

I just knew you would have a hissy fit about only 3 articles of clothing :)

I never knew Elton batted for the other side until long after he got married and divorced from Renee. Of course I was a total innocent in the 70's and part of the 80's so it shouldn't really surprise. I did love that song though.

Tell me Moi, as the fashionista that you are, what did you think of the fashions of the 70's? I really want to know.

moi said...

Poet: Dungaree track suits – one of the greatest WTFs? of the fashion world. Something that broadcasts the thunder of my thighs AND creates a nifty camel toe? Ooo, sign Moi up. NOT.

Troll: Are they in tune?

iamnot: Nature's last laugh: we can never go back. Just LOOK back, shaking our heads in remorse.

kiki: EXACTLY like black licorice. Only yummier. I don't know how they do it, but I want it.

Gypsy: There were good times; there were bad times, there were . . . hey, thanks for the subject of a post! To be continued . . .

Anonymous Boxer said...

Brilliant answers. I thought I was the only one who drank squillions of cups of coffee and then checked to see how much Uncle Sam currently wants to take out of the marrow of my bones.

Probably one of the better "tags" I've read in a long time.

ThursdayNext said...

Carrot cake? Yeah, I knew there was a reason that you rock. ;) Going back pre-meme, I loved that song by EJ and Kiki. I hear it today sometimes on lite fm and blast it...have a good weekend (hope its filled with carrot cake!)

Wicked Thistle said...

Now I can't get "Don't Go Breaking My Heart" out of my head. The sock puppets are loving it. :-) It distracted me so much that I couldn't finish reading your responses to the tag, so I'll just go do that NOW.

upset waitress said...

It's "Sir" Elton John now a days.

Anonymous said...

Good stuff! Kiki rocks...