Some People Just Need Killin'

Because they are simply too stupid to live.

This man is a personal injury lawyer. Irony much?

"Hi there. I'm Andrew Speaker and I'd like to apologize to everyone on the planet for letting my feelings of upper middle class white male privilege just run away with me. But you've seen my wife, right? She's hot. Super hot. That's worth risking a global epidemic for right there."

This is the border crossing in Champlain, New York where Speaker was allowed to slip back, uh, bribe his way back into the country.


And this is the photo of Speaker's father-in-law, a big-wig at the CDC who works with – you guessed it! – rare and dangerous forms of TB.

Hmmm. Does his expression say to you: "I'll learn ya, ya little preppy shit, to steal my hot daughter out from under me." It does to moi.

But thankfully, we have just the right person in place to administer justice: