Monday, June 18, 2007

Opposites, They Attract Me

This is my first love in golf. And not just because he cuts such a dashing figure on the course, with his wasp waist, broad shoulders, and legs for days. Despite him utterly flubbing the U.S. Open yesterday, it is my plan to remain hopelessly devoted because he is the ultimate athlete – unbelievably talented, laser-focused, exceptionally driven. And, by all accounts, quite a nice guy off the course, oriented towards family and generous with both his time and his money (although I really wish he would see the light and quit shilling for Nike).


Still, I am considering cheating with this man:


I know. Angel Cabrera is wrong, all wrong. He smokes – cigarettes! – between holes. He's got a gut. He looks like he'd rather do anything but work out and I bet he doesn't even know what dental floss looks like, much less broccoli.

Yesterday, he finished a few holes ahead of Tiger, who, had he not squandered any number of easy peasy birdie opportunities, would have forced a play off. So where was Cabrera while Tiger finished up? Was he out hitting balls to stay warmed up? Tensely pacing? Conferring with his caddy? Nope, he was yucking it up with all and sundry back at the club house, his entire demeanor broadcasting, "Hey, I win, I win. I play off, I play off. Now, get me another cigarette and some wine."

Gah. I bet the dude is one hell of a lot of fun.

As for Tiger, I'm not ready to pack my bags just yet. Cabrera, well, he could be a one hit wonder (and I so do needs me a golfer with staying power). But Tiger, he's got to get back on game. I will wait, but I won't hold my breath.

7 comments:

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Doris Rose said...

Makes me want watch golf...hey maybe you could be the color commentator --fer sur I'd watch.
and who's advertising on your site??

Wicked Thistle said...

Ooh, the dilemma... On the one hand, you have Tiger, who looked FABULOUS in that red shirt yesterday, headlights notwithstanding. He would love you true for sure. But then there's that swarthy Argentinian guy who oozes sweaty machismo and, yes, is just aching to take you--or whoever, he's an open-minded guy--on a ride on his Vespa.

Frankly, I'd choose Cabrera, which should tell you everything you need to know about why I'm still single.

A.Fanny said...

I'm still a Mickelson girl. That unstopable smile when he's having a good day - and how he greets his little daughters after a match with "Daddy WON!" I don't care if his body looks like Gumby's - ya gotta love him!

MOI said...

Doris: No idea who In24hours is. Interesting site, but not a question I myself would contemplate.

Wicked: Well, you know, being a single gal ain't that bad, if wine, Vespas, and swarthiness is involved.

Fanny: Ooh, ja, but when Mickelson has a bad day . . . even God shakes in His space boots.

Dizzy said...

(CHANT) Tiger! Tiger! Tiger!

Ms Robinson said...

Cabrera would be so much fun, so much more fun.