Tuesday, July 21, 2009

You Want It All But You Can't Have It

Dear Barry Oh, So Now You Think You're My OB-GYN,

I know you've been trying real hard these past seven months to make me your girlfriend, but I gotta tell ya, dude. Snazzy suits and honied speeches aside, it's just not working for me.

You should know that it's you, not me. Because if you think you're going to stand in between one of the most sacred private relationships allowed an individual – the one between me and my doctor – you're wrong.

Now, you work on a REAL plan to eliminate the insurance companies as middle men, remove the mouths of your D.C. buddies from the assholes of the pharmaceutical companies, and return medicine to the free market so costs can truly adjust accordingly, then maybe we can go for ice cream.

Until then, you're going to have to anesthetize this bitch for me to listen to you.



Heff said...

Damn, I like you !

Gnomeself Be True said...

In a twisted sort of way, this shit ecconomy my save our long term asses.
There is no way in hell dems are going to reform anything in a way that spends LESS money. Every bill is so pork laden and special interest paying that it can do nothing but ruin us.

moi said...

Heff: Goody! Moi's Revolucion can use all the beer-drinking, guitar-pounding, bird-flipping conservatives it can get.

Gnome: And we just keep on thinking they're doing everything to benefit lil' ol' us! Shucks.

Jenny said...


amen, sister.

In my world, our customers shop my product and see if I'm offering the best price. Then they get to pick what they want; quality or quantity.

and I agree with Gnomey

Haiku Master said...

Trojan horse chosen.
Camel's nose under the tent.
Both leave steaming piles.

rotty in exile said...

dont worry, moi. if you choose death -it will be free!

another awesome haiku, troll.

moi said...

Boxer: Choices, schmoises. In this brave new world, the government knows what's best for us. Everybody, get in line.

Haiku: See, if we had you in Congress? We'd really cut to the chase.

Rotty: Well, dying the act doesn't cost anything. But they'll tax to high heaven what little estate I have left afterward so that my heirs are left with, what, a couple high heels and some baking pans?

h said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Haiku Master said...


Master in Congress??!!
Porcine pilots on iced hell!!
It almost happened.

er said...

then give me the pans now. ;-)

Kymical Reactions said...

I have never heard such a 'fast talker' as the Commander in Cheif. He seems to rush through everything, hoping no one ever really catches on to his nonsense. Thank goodness for Fox News, and the word by word break down.

moi said...

Haiku Master: Now and Zen, every gooberment needs a Haiku Master.

er: Er?

kwmthay: What does the lil' gooberment fishy in the sea say? "Just keep spinning . . . "

Aunty Belle said...


Unknown said...

You wouldn't even believe some of the e-mails we are getting about it. What about the "educating elderly" about life options???

Buzz Kill said...

I watched the dog and pony show last night and got a real chuckle out of how the president dodged the "Will congress and their families use the same healthcare system that he signs in to law?" (paraphrasing). That is the only way there will ever be any healthcare reform

Anonymous said...

Obama hath said,
But this bill to bed
It shall not be dead!

People in the streets
stomp and scream

Should we not?
If not,
Buy a shovel
Dig your hole
Fall in it