Wednesday, July 1, 2009


See this little dude(ette)? I discovered it yesterday, hanging from a thin section of silk about half way down from the middle of my office ceiling. It stayed there all afternoon, doing nothing except moving up and down, up and down, from the ceiling to the floor of my office and back again.

I thought it would be gone this morning. You know, to do whatever it is spiders do. Like eat the GIGANTIC stupid ass flies that keep dive bombing me while I sit at my desk. They're like some lumbering insect equivalent of a C-130, seemingly incapable of navigating with any kind of speed or grace the airspace around my desk, instead careening themselves blindly into my computer screen or the window ledge.

Or my face.


But, no. The spider is STILL HERE and, as near as I can tell, it hasn't done anything to negatively affect the fly population nor has it accomplished anything else of any significance for that matter. Like vacuuming the carpet or dusting my desk.

Here is it, just moments ago, moving back down its little silk thread, where it nearly plunked itself down on the Ivanator's head. Now it's moving back up again.

I am tempted to coax it into a jar and move it outside to my lettuce beds, where a certain bunch of roughneck aphids have recently set up camp. Because every other creature in this house has a JOB, fer cryin' out loud. I don't care if you have eight legs and are the size of a pumpkin seed – NO SLACKERS ALLOWED!


Aunty Belle said...

heh....serfdom fer spiders!

Jenny said...

*sigh* now you understand my pain. I wish I could have just squashed my temp.

Bretthead said...

Very clever title. You never cease to impress me with your words.

Doris Rose said...

and yet another needy creature for you to care for in your spare time. I am seriously putting your name on the LIST. Mother Teresa got nothin'on you.

NYD said...

I really am enjoying all of the permutations that Obama's name has lent itself to, clever.

Maybe if you toss the bugger a few bailout tid-bits he will be able to one day catch them dopey flies on his own.

the Dread Pirate Rackham said...

If it's upping and downing it's prolly building...something. That would have creeped me out quite some time ago. To the garden with that thing. Yew!

chickory said...

like a little jewel of a pendant!

Gnomeself Be True said...

I KNOW you own a few pairs of shoes. Surely you have something appropriate for squashing useless, no load insect loafers.
Think of the cathartic effect!

Smash! Smash! Smash! Haaaahaahahhahaaaahahaaaaahhhaaa!!!!!!!!'s been a rough week.

moi said...

Aunty: No, that would be: "opportunity" for arachnids!

Boxer: You could always "crush his head" from a distance!

WTWA: That's good to know. Because if you heard me sing, you'd never drop by this blob again.

DorisRose: Would that list by any chance include a free lifetime supply of enchiladas and margaritas? Just in case you're taking requests . . .

NYD: You know what's really fun? Doing the Name Game song with Obama. While drinking.

Pirate: I have been anticipating some totally cool spider condo, but nyet. Just the uppy downy thing. Maybe it's "special"?

Chicory: It is indeed a beautiful creature. Lovely patterning on its abdomen and slightly translucent little legs. So fragile, but so tough. And lazy.

Margo said...

be sure to stop by and enter to win the bracelet I'm giving away by Friday. Also, I'm Not Buying on Mondays now, if you'd like to join!

AS far as obamarachnid, obviously you have to move.

Jenny said...

I've been experimenting with resins and I'm wondering if you would like this little guy embedded in a necklace?

VintagePurseGal said...

I like spiders (and snakes) as a jewelry motif, but not the real thing. I tend to scream, smash them with my slipper, then flush their little tissue-covered remains. My 17-year-old prefers a more Buddhist approach. She'll scream, but make ME toss them carefully outside. I'd rather smash them, because they totally freak me out, especially when they run across my desk. I guess I'll never achieve Nirvana.

Heather Cherry said...

You have too much patience, Moy.

h said...

I usually spare the little guys.

Pam said...

Do you think it is really big brother watching over your shoulder to see what you are posting on Blogger? Hmmmmm.

MommyHeadache said...

What a beautiful little spider. I do kill ants if I find them indoors although I suppose they aren't really harming anyone but I can't kill spiders.

moi said...

Gnome: Ew. That would make quite the mess on my shoes.

Margo: Obviously. But not because of the spider. :o) The FIRST part of the word is what worries me; not the second.

Boxer: Okay, you get the Creative Comment of the Day Award. Only if the little gal were already dead.

Wendy: Bwahahahahahaha. My "Buddhist" approach: if I can't eat it, work it, wear it, or make a pet out of it, I leave it alone.

HeatherC: No, just curiosity.

Troll: Thank you. How about dinner plate-sized tarantualas?

Pam: Now, THERE'S a thought!

Emma!: You're back! I can't wait for Argentinian wildlife stories!

fishy said...

Watch Out Moi,,,this might be the Madoff of arachnids, giving nothing good but taking, taking, taking....

The Poet Laura-eate said...

I hope it's not planning a hostile takeover bid.


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