Tuesday, April 8, 2008

The Writing on the Wall

Two years ago we had a February/March snow season like few I've seen around here. One storm after the other blew in, dropping twelve, fourteen, eighteen inches of snow at a time. Of course, working at home means I can usually get on the driveway pretty quickly, shoveling it clear in between bouts of work to ensure that I'll be able to escape to the wilds of civilization for Starbucks and sushi sometime before the Second Coming. (What about SB, you ask? Well, Party People, SB is rarely home during these monumental events, spring being the best time for him to go to work moving power across 'merica's midsection. And I have the upper body muscles to prove it.)


Not only does snow pile up on our driveway, it also piles up on our satellite dish. Those of you who work at home know how muy importante it is to have working television at all times. So, on with the snowsuit, the snow boots, and the long broom to make the dangerous trek out back to knock the snow off the dish. Halfway there, I heard it: a rumble like distant thunder and then a swooshy sound like sand being pushed by a wave breaking on shore. The sound was coming from above me and I looked up just in time to witness a huge chunk of eighteen inch high snow come rushing down off the roof to land on top of my head. The force knocked me to my knees, the snow covered me completely. But within seconds I put those shoveling muscles to use and was able to burst forth into the sunshine. And complete my mission to free my satellite dish from being likewise smothered so I could spend the afternoon watching Fashion Television.

Since people die in roof avalanches, come summer, we did the responsible thing and called ABC Roofing to install all new gutters and snow breaks. No more roof avalanches.

But I'll never forget that feeling – however momentary – of being buried alive. It sucked. But that's how I feel this week. Part of what I do for a living, other than coming up with my own words, is making the words of others sound much better(er). And that's what I'm doing this week. Fixing other people's words. Lots and lots of them. Which can actually be harder than coming up with ones of my own. Hence, the buried feeling.

So I got nothing much else, except to tell you that I'll be posting about Muffins on Da Baking Blob soon. Oh and this:

Beyonce and Jay-Z got married this weekend. Did you hear they had 100 bazillion Thai peasants pick with their 1,000 bazillion nimble Thai fingers over 100 trillion perfectly bloomed orchids to decorate Jay-Z's Tribeca loft as part of their Twu Wuv ceremony? Sweet jeebus, that's excessive. Even by Moi's whack ass excessive standards. Then again, what else would you expect from a woman who never met a prom dress gone horribly wrong that she didn't turn into a personal fashion statement?

About Jay-Z I have nothing to say. Except that it looks like he buys a lot of shiny, silky stuff. Does he rap?


NYD said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
NYD said...

Being buried sucks, but emerging from the strangling miasma feeling stronger than you previously did is good for your soul.

P.S. I Hate typos

Doris Rose said...

come out, come out wherever you are
There's Life and Hope! do you want to be rescued?

h said...

He's a talentless loud-mouth punk lackey of the traitor-democrat party-of-filth. I'd kick his ass for a quarter.

moi said...

nyd: Not to mention, good for my life in general. Yes, typos suck. And, I spend much of my life making fun of 'em. Including my own.

Doris: Calgon, take me away. Unfortunately, the way things are going, looks like rescue's going to come in the form of Da Short Bus.

Troll: Alrighty then! Why don't you tell us how you really feel!

sparringK9 said...

fashion tv! i dont get that! and, probably better so as to not avoid work anymore than i do already. so, you have clients then? i need clients. you and boxer are busy and i should be but instead i went on a very very long walk with trout and came back with a whopping headache from all the pollen. maybe i will roll into my studio by, oh, 4 pm!

youve got snow? ive got a film of yellow tree pollen over everything. and then there are the landscaping services who BLOW this crap all over ---the air looks slightly smokey. but then again, its not going to bury me alive.

Aunty Belle said...

I want some upper body muscles! (but NOT if they come wif snow.)

What happened to Fashion Trance? I used to watch it 3am when Uncle's train was more'n I could manage.

Jenny said...

NO TV????? I would be freakin' - I'm so sick of no Spring - it's been cold and rainy here in the PNW for too long. I'm ready to sell everything and move South... except you got SNOW.

Global warming?

She's comment totally cracked me up.

Stay focused on work - hopefully there is a lovely light at the end of your tunnel.

Now I'm going back into mine.

Wicked Thistle said...

The whole reason I only have 5 measly channels coming into my 1989 13" TV is that if I had any more than that, I'd do NOTHING but watch it. Which is why it's a good thing I don't work from home, cause I'd get nothing done.

p.s. I can get Da Short Bus to your house, you know. I have authority in this realm.

p.p.s. We simply have *got* to get our single gal emergency help-me-now hotline going. You're getting trapped under falling snow, Doris Rose faces daily misadventure in her pool...sheesh. Between the two of you, you'll keep us in Danger Girl comics for a lifetime.

moi said...

All: No, no. That is a snow picture from two years ago. No snow at Moi's house. It's just there to illustrate the near death/buried alive feeling topic of the post. I turned the sprinkler system on yesterday, that's how dry it is.

And there's a show called Fashion Trance? Where was I?

sparringK9 said...

man. i am too literal. i need help

Ms Robinson said...

The question of exactly what Jay Z does is vexing, I'll admit. I have seen him do guest spots in videos. But how can he afford those suits?

*Sigh* It's a whole other world.

Do you think she will turn to fat?

Jenny said...

Jeez, literal, me too.

OK, but still... sorry you're "buried" - I get that.

moi said...

You literal types: It's okay; thing are rough all over.

Ms R: Well, that nearly had me spewing a mighty tasty Riesling all over the screen. Turn to fat – heh. Well, I'm sure, like Moi, you've seen that gal's booty. But still, with these celebretard weddings lasting, what 2.5 seconds, I don't think that will be this couple's particular undoing.

moi said...

Oh, and how could I possibly forget to mention to you literal types: NOW it's snowing! Freaking New Mexican springs . . .

ThursdayNext said...

Any snow past a foot and a half really gets to me - I hate digging my car out.

moi said...

Thursday: Digging cars out does, indeed, suck. As does digging out entire homes. But you live in NYC? Don't they have people who take care of that?

Karen said...

Ok so it IS snowing now but it wasn't when you started this post...am I caught up? It is a very pretty pic though. It's funny how something that looks so gorgeous can be such a pain in everyone's butt.

The Poet Laura-eate said...

Crumbs. And to think a teaspoon of the white stuff grinds the whole of Britain to a halt.

Impressed you risk life and limb to keep a clear satellite dish though!

Know what you mean - I always have to have the TV on in the background when I'm writing too!

Aunty Belle said...

Moi, Dahlink, yeaaus, Sugar they was a Fashion Trance program on Style Network--in Floridy it were on from 2-4 am. Endless loop of runway fashion, no jabber, just the catwalk and the clothes and the music.

I seen an online petition to have it reinstated. So far, nuthin'.