Sunday, July 29, 2007

We Pause for More S.B. Identification

Because I am obsessing on my race and on other work and because this week my brain is just not working as quickly as it usually does, I am slacking off a bit in the blogging department. Therefore, to make up for it, I herewith present you with a tidbit from the annals of what I like to call, The World According to S.B.:

For the past week or so, S.B. has been working diligently to make Life as We Know It safe for the Croc-wearing Wal-Mart shoppers of northeastern Georgia. Given the two hour time difference between there and here, I usually get my daily call from him around 5:00 p.m. MST. Two days ago, it went like this.

Moi: So, hon' what did you have for dinner? (After ten-plus years together, the away-from-home sexy talk starts morphing into an almost obsessive concern for each other's diets. I know, I know, but trust me, it will happen to you.)

S.B.: Quizno's. (Another S.B. tenet: Subway Sucks.)

Moi: Did you get the Bundt cake, too? (S.B. loves him some chocolate Bundt cake, even if it isn't mine and is made instead with lots of chemicals.)

S.B.: Uh, nope. (Whenever S.B. is even more laconic than usual on the phone, I know it means he is multi-tasking. Not only speaking to me, but also checking his email, doing billing, etc.)

Moi: How come? (Things are becoming slightly inane at this point.)

S.B.: (Sighs) Because they no longer make Bundt cakes. They have cookies now.

Moi: That's too bad. I'll just have to make you one when you get home.

S.B. (Pause.) (Silence.)

Moi: Do you know why? (The inanity meter is now moving into the red zone. Trust me, this will happen to you, too.)

S.B.: (I can hear the clicking of a keyboard in the background) Uhn-uh, why?

Moi: (Referring to my tendency to assign various men a rated spousal position in Moi's Imaginary Backwards Islamic Universe in Which I Get to be the Girl With the Most Cake and Also Have my Own Harem – hey, fair is only fair). Because you're my Primary, Number One Husband.

And, without missing a beat or a keyclick, S.B. says:

Well, it's better to be Primary than Back Up. Because then I have first right of refusal. I don't like the Bundt cake, I just pass it along to the next guy.


Doris Rose said...

you just gotta love him.bless his little pea-pickin heart.

Orangeblossoms said...

Too funny. Too much. I wish I had a choice filled Islamic cakey universe where innanities were in order. I'll just live vicariously through yours. mkay?