Haiku Monday Winner: X MARKS THE SPOT

I wish I had time to write a synopsis of every haiku submitted this go 'round because if y'all are going to take the time to write and submit, I should at least give a kudo to every haiku. But the alligators of deadlines both personal and professional are nipping at my heels and I also need to eat. And do the dishes. And do something about my hair.

Still, I will give a short shout out to this week's top contenders, who basically boiled down to a bunch of dudes and a lil' lady.

The Dudes:

Czar made me laugh to the point of strained abs with:

Friend’s wife, his IInd--
not too sharp: came home talking
of Malcolm the Tenth.

We all know this man, right? And this gal? And have been at the dinner table or putting green or lift ticket line when something like this has spilled like liquid gold right on out of their mouths, leaving us a story to tell for years, maybe decades to come. I also love the play of Roman numerals here; IInd for second, Tenth for X. So, so cleverly done.

Then there was Troll who snagged my attention with Yum-Yum, which, if I think about it, is probably my most favorite phrase in the entire English language, ever:

Stone Crab Season Starts!
They swim from Bay to Old Bay.
Exoskeletons.

I wanna go have dinner at Troll's house. Scout's honor I'll behave, and I won't even bring up the L for Libertarian word, not once, not at all, and I'll bring the dessert. Just feed me some of those exoskeletons!

From there, it was a hop, skip, and a jump to Rafe's jazzy rumination on religious xstasy:

Xtreme addiction
Whip the flesh; Xpunge your sin
Jonesing on Jesus

I really love the rhythm of this one, the alliteration of the exes and the jays, but also find compelling the way it paints a picture of something both disturbing and yet sublime, the line where piety ends and frenzy begins.

Curmee, who is getting quite good at this haiku stuff, also snagged my attention, not with food, but with a shorthanded tale evoking cute dudes with washboard abs and leather underwear fighting the invading hordes:

Three hundred remained.
At Thermopylae they died.
Xerxes laughed no more.

And then Karl, who, through an impressive economy of words and structure, ended up creating quite a compelling haiku:

A mark on a chart
A position and a plot
Nope, no guarantee.

I love the way this bounces off the tongue when read out loud. Try it, you'll see what I mean.

Then there's Blowfish, the only blogger (go figure) who crossed over into x-rated territory with the naughty-but-nice, and oh-so-funny:

I thought it was Gee.
Not X. Which signals the spot?
Sweet really is best.

And then backpedaled and said this was about tennis. Whatev', dude, it's still a great haiku. (Fishy, please don't kill him; I think we're cousins once removed on my father's side and I can't afford to lose any paisans.)

The Lil' Lady:

Miz Boxer, who colored us all nostalgic with:

X Ray goggles from
Johnson Smith Catalog was
Christmas wish denied

I think we can all wipe a small tear or stifle a belly laugh at the memories this evokes.

Unfortunately, I have to pick a winner out of the creme of the creamy crop, and it wasn't easy. No sir. Not at all.

So without further foot shuffling, the winner is:

KARL!

It's simple, to the point, action-oriented, heralds anticipation, and then warns of potential disappointment. X marks the treasure, but when it proves not to be there, all effort is x'ed out. Nice. Plus, I just kept coming back to it over, and over.

Congrats, Karl! Looks like you are our host for next week! Those of you who have just begun to play, Blazng and Jean, please keep playing, and thanks to everyone for the big, big fun.