Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Valentine's Day D'oh, Nuts!



Dear Dunkin Donuts,

You know I love you, right?  Like oxygen. Like the desert loves the rain. Like Coco loves Ice. Or Ice loves Coco, I can never remember which.

And that it's been agony for me, to drive right on by you every Tuesday morning for the past eight months, holding my breath so as not to breathe in the beckoning waft of your warm, yeasty, sugary goodness and turning up the radio so as not to hear your siren call begging me to forget about my workout, the 100 burpees and push ups and split leg lunges waiting for me two blocks up the street, and to belly up instead to your cheery counter where you already have waiting for me a steaming cup of coffee—blond, two sugars—and a lemon-filled puff of pastry perfection.

Therefore, if my husband is going to help break my will by sending me a pink and red heart embossed Dunkin Donuts Valentine's Day gift card, how in the name of all that is holy could you possibly RUN OUT OF EVERY SINGLE FREAKIN' DONUT IN YOUR DING DANG FREAKIN' DONUT SHOP fifteen seconds before I get there?

Signed,
Moi


12 comments:

BlazngScarlet said...

That's just cruel(ler).

chickory said...

har, blazingscarlet!

er, boy they look good. I made gourmet donuts for V and my valentines dinner. Pumpkin cinnamon with a hint of pink sugar. they were good and mini - and baked not fried.

Im impressed with your fitness routine. I gotta step it up if i got to hang around you this summer.

Boxer said...

My arse just called and asked when I would be moving it! I put it on hold. Again. *sigh*

A local grocer was selling heart shaped steaks yesterday and I'm thnking that may have been a better option for you?

I bought mini chocolate covered donuts yesterday and I know Chickory will understand why they are sooooo good. (I got the small pack.) Hmmmmm, donuts.

Oh Hai Blaze!

moi said...

Blazng: Comment of the week!

Chickory: Mmmm . . . those donuts sound marvelous! I've never tried to make them. Send me recipe!

Boxer: You can't believe how upset I was. So upset, I didn't even go to the grocery store to buy anything sweet. I just went home and had a good pout.

lx said...

I was taken aback at the number of Dunkin Donuts in Berlin. Seemed about as many as there were Starbucks!

There are also mom-and-pop, local, and chain bakeries everywhere. Wonderful croissants, cherry and cream pastries, macaroons.

moi said...

lx: Oh good Lord, German pastries. Apply directly to thighs, do not pass go, do not collect $200, do not get into my skinny jeans.

Buzz Kill said...

"could you possibly RUN OUT OF EVERY SINGLE FREAKIN' DONUT IN YOUR DING DANG FREAKIN' DONUT SHOP fifteen seconds before I get there?"

I'll tell you how. The night before Valentines Day, I took The Pudge up to the local Dunkin Donuts and bought 2 dozen heart-shaped donuts for his Spanish class party. What donuts and Spanish class have to do with each other, I don't know. But that's where they all went.

I couldn't look at the people standing in line behind us as we walked out. We did get a thank you email from his teacher the next day (but don't seem to get the emails that tell us he's failing - go figure).

moi said...

Buzz: It was YOU! I knew it. What do donuts and Spanish class have to do with each other? What do donuts and LIFE have to do with each other? EVERYTHING.

czar said...

Not a Dunkin' Donuts within 250 miles of here, but they are coming some time this decade, so I hear. First house I ever bought, I signed the contract at a Dunkin' Donuts in Atlanta at about midnight.

The little downtown where I live has a bagel/coffee shop and a nice bakery. The first has decided to stop replenishing coffee after 11 a.m., and the latter has cut way back on what they'll make during the day. I went in there at about 2 p.m. the other day, and the racks were about empty.

If you can't provide full-service all day long, take down the Open sign when you've determined your day is no longer profitable. But don't bring me in the store to look at empty racks or coffee pots.

"Blond, two sugars." Isn't that "regular"?

"Blond"?

moi said...

Czar: Sorry: Blonde. Stupid auto correct for Google thinks blonde is a misspelling. I like all kinds of bakeries, all kinds of sweets, coffee shops rules. Good thing I was/am a Crest baby. Not a cavity in my head.

fishy said...

Tragic.

Once you give yourself permission to indulge it is spiteful for the fates to thwart the experience!

@ Scarlet ... still smiling.
@ Boxer .... mine gave up calling.

moi said...

Fishy: Yes! The fates must be shot. In their asses.