Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Haiku Monday: Lemon WINNER


Hey, now, this was fun! Although I'm not sure I'd blind judge again. Maybe HIRE someone to judge, but not blind judge. A few of you, I groked to immediately: Boxer with her booze (nicely done), Troll with his Yo (party at Trolls!), and Czar with his obscurely compelling reference to 30 Rock (what does it mean? Liz Lemon and her car?!?) because it just seems so, well, Czar. And the terrific haiku extolling U2's Lemon love had to be either Pam or Kym (Kym).

A few of you tripped me up, though. Whod'a thunk Troll of all people would toss in a pop cultural reference to Napoleon Dynamite, only the greatest comedy of the last half century, yes I'm serious, if you don't think it's funny well I won't judge but, seriously, it's pretty freakin' funny . . . although I can't imagine Troll would think so. Then again, NATURE loves her little surprises. As he so astutely pointed out in the haiku, which resonated especially strongly with me (another top contender) because I've been reading Guns, Germs, and Steel, and so, yes, exactly! What IS natural? Well, ever since man first started tinkering with his existence, the answer is, Not much. So take that, Al Gore, and shove it down your pie hole along with another donut. The entire PLANET is a construct.

Anyway.

I also want to give a huge shout out to two new participants: Princess and Mitzi. Princess, I hope you keep playing, because the only thing that kept you out of the running was lack of adhering to the 5/7/5 syllable construct. Not all American haiku adheres to this rule, but we do, otherwise, goodness, Party People, it would be total anarchy around here, dogs and cats, living together, and then where would we be? Limmericking, that's where.

Speakin of which, Mitzi, thanks for the laugh. Come back anytime.

Second-time participant Fleurdeleo was a top contender with her ode to the joys of Love's Fresh Lemon, which is as entrenched in my scent memory as all the other late, great 1970s scents that seemed custom made for a certain class of junior high chica just beginning to sow her oats.

You regulars really put on a great show, too, and I wish I had time to speak to each and every haiku individually, because each of them had something that I loved. Even those that also discounted themselves because they didn't adhere to 5/7/5 (and all I can say in that regard is count, count, count, and count again), most especially Karl's 6.0 and lemonade stand, which were both top, top contenders. But they went over syllable count. Boo.

So, which haiku excelled at catching my eye and ear? Those that placed a very strong visual in my mind and that located them in a certain time/place. K9, for example:

yeah, it's beautiful
but that automobile is
bad yellow citrus

Right? We've all seen that car.

Also, Czar again being clever, only this time with something I "get:"

In Costa Rica,
Yanquis taken by surprise.
Asked, "Lemons?" Got limes.

And Foam, who is like the Yoda of Haiku.

scrunched up little nose,
wide startled eyes, puckered mouth . . .
thppt! lemon arcs far . . .

God lord, that's great.

And I love this from Pam:

Yellow like the sun
Sour, tart, tangy, bitter so
For ade, add sugar

Get it? Ade/aide? Love it.

But, after all is said and done, the one haiku that got my heart and my head, that transported me back to the halcyon days of my youth, when no bikini was too teeny and the initials SPF were still an unknown in some wet blanket scientist's mind, when we girls spent our summer days trying to get our bodies as dark as possible and our hair as light as possible, all in the laser-focused, single-minded pursuit of attracting the attention of as many lank-haired, pre-verbal boys as possible, is Fishy's:

Poolside Summer teens
streaking our hair with lemons
we smell'd like sun pies

It was that last line that got me. Smell'd like sun pies. Smelled. Like. Sun. Pies. That line just keeps playing itself over and over in my mind. It is perfect.

Congrats, Fishy! If you still have my email addy, send me your address toot suite and I'll send you the cookbook—and decide if you want to host/judge, or toss it back to Troll.

Thanks again, Party People! You are all sun pies to me.

18 comments:

czar said...

Couldn't agree more. Hail, Fishy!

Boxer said...

Hurray! That was my favorite too. Great write up (as usual) and thanks for hosting and judging.

I really tried to keep the drunk out of my haiku, but I had to go with my heart. Ha! or liver?

I loved this line: "When theinitials SPF were still an unknown in some wet blanket scientist's mind."

That's exactly what I felt when I read Fishy's Haiku; innocence.

Troll said...

Fishy's was excellent!

Surprised (example one): What Moi is when she sees a Napoleon Dynamite reference in a Troll haiku.

Surpised (example two): What Troll is when anyone on the planet would think he saw Napoleon Dynamite.

moi said...

Czar: Should we make her a crown, I wonder? That would be cool.

Boxer: I loved yours, but it was certainly telling :o) When I think of how I used to bake in the sun . . .

Troll: Come on. You know you wanna.

Pam said...

I loved that one by Fishy! Of course, being brunette, lemon in the hair was not for me. But everyone else I knew was doing it. In fact, just recently have considered doing the lemon treatment to my elbows. Does that make me old? Or officially turned into my own granny? Shudders. I love that Fishy's haiku certainly takes you to a place and time in memory. Well done Fishy!

Karl said...

Good afternoon your Honor,

So when you're walking down the street is there a chorus behind you: here comes the judge, here comes the judge. If not there should be. Another great job.

Congratulations Fishy! A fine win even more so now that I understand that "streaking our hair with lemons" is something you were really doing and not a metaphor that I didn't understand.

I have a question. How do numbers interact with the syllable count?

moi said...

Pam: I'm a (natural) brunette, too, but that never stopped me from adventuring in hair coloring. In fact, if the Shoe Fund has a rival, it's the Cut and Color Fund. Darn it.

Karl: Lemons, hydrogen peroxide, Kool-Aide—all employed in similar service. Yes. Girls are weird. As for numbers, syllables are counted as they would be pronounced in conversation. So, if you were talking to someone about a 6.0 engine, you'd say, "Dude, the six-point-oh [three syllables] engine is loud." Similarly, a year: 1949, would be "nineteen-forty-nine" (5 syllables). Does that help?

Karl said...

Yes it does, thank you.

Bit of putty and paint
Lemon, peroxide, Kool-Aide
Make her what she ain't

K9 said...

lank haired preverbal boys? grrrrrrrhrhahahahaha! absolutely right.

COngratulations Fishy. another great win. I loved it.
and i know that sun pie smell.

I thought Pam mightve won though - i loved that clever pun on ade.

happy haiku tuesday, all.

Boxer said...

in H.S. my best friend (brunette) used lemon juice on her hair and then sat out in the sun. Her hair turned ORANGE just in time for Senior pictures. So, Pam... only elbows. :-)

foam said...

congrats to fishy! great write up! thanks for hosting and judging. like you i keep coming back to certain lines that grab my attention. and fishy's haiku certainly had those lines, as well as many, many others. there were so many good entries.

moi said...

Karl: Girls do tend to use themselves as canvas, but it doesn't necessarily mean we're what we ain't :o)

K9: And they all had Rush tee shirts clinging to incipient-muscled torsos, eyes askance and blinking against Marlboro reds. Where did they all go? Into rock bands, lives of crime, or folded up into the obscure comforts of domesticity?

Boxer: Uh, yup. Been there, done that. In fact, the first step to platinum blond, the few times I've stepped on that path, is actually neon orange. Most interesting.

Foam: There's a lot of talent here, for sure. Yours was unbelievably delightful in its graphic evocation of a sour puss. Loved it.

Troll said...

I asked a Government School Blond
to a concert (black sabbath sans ozzie and blue oyster cult) to which I had free tickets.

She had green-hair and an attitude when I picked her up.

The story goes downhill from there but didn't really end until 3 years later.

I'll have to TrollStroll it someday.

fleurdeleo said...

Congrats, Fishy! You took us (way) back in time!

moi said...

Troll: The story goes downhill from there but didn't really end until 3 years later. Why is it that seems to always be the way of things? When you Troll Stroll it, please make sure to A: Tell us what color YOUR hair was; B. If that was the tour with Dio singing in Ozzie's stead.

Fleurdeleo: Thanks for playing again and I hope you continue to do so. You were a strong contenda!

Intuitive Eggplant said...

Great haiku by Fishy, and fine judging as always, Moi! I'm in awe of you all.

fishy said...

Thanks all!
One of the most wonderful aspects of bloggig, and this haiku game, is the reveal of so many common denominators in very divergent lives. That rocks.

Moi,
nice job of judging, it is never easy. I am excited about the prize and will send the addy.

K9, thanks for being the facilitator of the blind judging.

TROLL,
I will be unable to host your game next Monday. Would it be okay with you if we all come back to the home Bridge? Since I cannot host/judge I think it best if you also select the subject.

rajmangal said...

Congratulations Fishy! A accomplished win alike added so now that I accept that "streaking our beard with lemons" is article you were absolutely accomplishing and not a allegory that I didn't understand.miami beach condos