Wednesday, April 4, 2012

Here's a Ten-Dollar Word For Ya


Oh, Samantha, I don't want to join the camp of the 4000+ people who have already hit you over the head for this bit of journalistic foolishness, because I think some of their comments to you were cruel. But I'm really struggling to figure out not only the point of this article but also how on EARTH you couldn't foresee the resulting shit storm response. 

Don't get me wrong. You're a pretty gal. But I know many way more attractive women than you appear to be, a few, even, whose beauty would give Angelina Jolie a serious run for her money. And yet none of them have ever experienced anything close to the kind of off-the-charts attention—good and bad—you describe in your article. 

Well, okay, so one of my gal pals does get an inordinate amount of attention from men, but none of us who count ourselves part of her wide circle of friends has ostracized her because of it. We are mature enough and secure enough to know her movie-star beauty is a combination of happy genetic accident and a whole heck of a lot of work, so more power to her. It's not the only thing that defines her, besides. She is also kind and caring, wickedly funny, a terrific cook, and a gracious hostesses. Who wouldn't want someone like that for a friend?

So I'm beginning to wonder if there isn't perhaps another reason for the gobs of antipathy slung your way by members of our fair sex.

But this, this is the worst: You can't wait for wrinkles and grey hair so you can "blend into the background?" I can't even begin to deal with the utter stupidity of that statement.


Anonymous said...

I have no idea who this fat chick or what she said or did.

But my favorite 10 dollar word is gadankenexperiment. It's usually difficult to work into a conversation but it's doable.


If the wickedly funny great cook supermodelish friend is single, extol the benefits of trolls to her.

moi said...

Troll: Click the title at top and you can read it. It's rather bizarre. As for my friend, yes, she is single. She is not, however, blond. She does have large ta-tas, though, and I believe she is a Republican. She also golfs, but might be too social-scene-y for your taste. Hmmm . . . I wonder how many Troll points this would get me. One of your famblee's muscle cars, perhaps?

czar said...

Man, the other photos of her are far less than beautiful -- and this one not at all.

For a woman, she's got some big balls. I hope they age well on her.

Jenny said...

.I'm trying to figure out why this is even an article? Who cares? Are women in England really ugly and she's the best they have? Noooooo. She's got a bad case of self absorbed stupidity and needs to stop looking in the mirror and work on developing a PERSONALITY.

As for your friend "K" (right?) She DOES stop traffic and deservedly so. She's also, as you said, witty and talented and that adds to her allure.

P.S.If I remember, a certain blogger has had men attempt to pick them up in bars in New Orleans? Funny, no article was written about that. ;-)

moi said...

Czar: Bwahahahahaha! Comment of the Day.

Boxer: You know what? Every halfway attractive gal out there gets hit on. Some more than others, granted, but I don't know any woman who doesn't have a story or two in that regard. So what makes this woman so special?

Yes, I'm talking about K. So, whatdya think: K and Troll? Let's ponder this scenario for a moment, shall we?

Anonymous said...

Part of extolling troll benefits is SELLING. I.E. You could point out that for many social-sceney type things she'd rather take YOU or some other Woman anyway. And you should NOT tell her that I prefer blondes.

Yes, there could be a Barracuda in your future IF you do a good job on this.

Jenny said...

She's not a blonde and I think she would break Troll.

Jenny said...

which could be good.

I am Rick James' Ghost, Biotch said...

She's a Brick....House.
She's mighty flighty and let her brains fall out.

The lady's fat, that's a fact, ain't holding nothing back.


moi said...

Troll: Soooooo . . . if it all goes terribly, spectacularly, off-the-charts wrong, do I still get to keep the car?

Boxer: Hmmm. She may not be down to earth enough for the long term, but it would be fun to sit back and watch for the short.

Ghost: I need you at my next party, obviously. Interesting you find Mz. Samantha fat. Is she, or are we Americans just too used to gym-sculpted flesh that we can no longer abide a bit of round?

LẌ said...

Being resented for having good looks is one "problem" I've never had!

Anonymous said...


No, your job is done with the sale and you keep your pay. If it goes wrong, it's not you. It's her.

And to a much lesser extent me for not spotting her flaw early in the process.

Anonymous said...

P.S. Have her send me a nekkid pic so I can start the flaw-scan procedure.

LaDivaCucina said...

I read this with disbelief the other day....thought to myself, "surely, it must be satire?!" Why write it, indeed! And who is her editor? How did this pap ever even get the "go ahead" to be run? This is definitely a case of "white people's problems!"

moi said...

lx: Wit, intelligence, and knowledge of obscure German cinema will get you further any day.

Troll: I dunno, you may fall victim to what I call Boobie Brain, a syndrome by which even the most stolid men are left drooling from the cranium. And you know better than to ask me to release nekkid photos.

LaD: I thought it was a goof, too. Even her follow up response, in which she prattled on and on about hurt feelings. But it seems genuine. Albeit totally misguided.

Aunty Belle said...

Iffin' slag like this can git published, then The End must be near.

Anonymous said...

Oh! Pa-leeeezzz! (how do you insert a roll-the-eyes symbol?)

It is females like this who give us all a bad name. Geeze.

I can take her no more seriously than a vain man - and there are too many of those, to.

Where did you find this Moi! Yeesh.


darkfoam said...

I actually guffawed at auntie belle's comment ...

Now to go on and look at the slag..

Pam said...

I have lots of comments on this.

First, the woman is a self-absorbed nutjob and that is probably why her friends have dropped her.

Second, she is pretty much butt ugly methinks. And she only puts herself out there as trim, not skinny. I bet she comes alive when someone breaks out the drinks, a camera, or a handful of men.

Third, you can't call up Yahoo these days without seeing a story about how Christina A has trimmed up, or how much Jessica S has gained being pregnant, or how good *insert whoever* looks 3 weeks post-baby. Why is this news? It is not news. It has no earthly value whatsoever if someone doesn't look exactly like they did when they were 15 years old. This just chaps my hide. And which leads me to:

Pink Slime. You want to talk about inflammation causing health problems, and possibly obesity? If a nurse at hospital put AMMONIA in someone's drip, they would go to jail. Why is it okay for the food industry to use ammonia gas on our food supply? And then you feed it to kids and sick people and guess what, their body doesn't handle it, and their system goes into inflammation mode? This is Munchausen by Proxy, is it not? On an industry wide scale?

Oh and by the way, that woman is just not pretty. I love all the gags going around about her that I have read today. Too funny. Then come over here and you have written up about her skanky butt.

sparringK9 said...

what a dumb culture.

aunty called her a "slag"? Grherhhahahahahahha!

Aunty Belle said...

YES! PAmOKC is on to it--that pink slime is "meat glue" that includes bacteria--gag! Even "prime" meats are stuck together wif' this stuff an' sold to us at 79.95 per pound. Top restaurants world wide serve this glop. We ain't safe nowhere.

I used to detest anythang remotely akin to "commune" as hippie tainted dope dreams. Ah, wait now...mayhap we's gonna have to commune-up in organic villages to survive.

Buzz Kill said...

I can sympatize with Ms. Brick. The things she describes happens to me all the time. Don't hate me because I'm beautiful. Bwahahahaha

That woman has to be the most un-photogenic woman I've ever scene. Every facial expression looks forced. She's obviously in therapy.

moi said...

Aunty: Oh, you don't know the laugh you gave me, you using the word "slag."

Serendipity: Unfortunately, it's been all over the news. Morning talk shows milking this for all it's worth.

Pam: Don't get me started—gag, hack, uck—on pink slime! I mean, seriously!

K9: I know. Of all the things one can write about, she chooses this bit of nonsense? If I were a feminist (oh, wait!), I'd protest or something.

Aunty: Well, you know how anti hippie I am, and even I believe communitarianism is the way to GO :o)

Buzz: Add to your beauty your skills with a frying pan AND a Sawzall? That's a triple threat right there, mister. Best be watching your back on Scout trips.