Friday, September 28, 2007

Yo Ye Pharoahs, Let us Walk Through this Barren Desert, in Search of Truth and Some Pointy Boots

I'm not going to pussyfoot around here. This fall's supposedly fabulous footwear fashion? Uh, not so much. Which has made me stomp my feet in indignation at the butt ass ugliness of it all. And swear off all purchases in favor of a single, trusty dusty pair of multi-purpose boots that go with everything.

And la, la, la, la, la myself until spring. 'Cause NO amount of sex or candy could persuade me to subject my feet to any of these Fall 2007 "trends."

Butt Ugly Fall Trend #1: Dressing Like A Dude

This according to Fashion Windows: Yes, the powerful woman is back, only this time we don’t have to prove it with shoulder pads. This season a huge trend is the powerful woman, weather [sic] it be biker style or menswear inspired [yikes!] the message is the same. We are woman and we are strong!

Spare Moi.

Nor should I have to feel like a target for Jack the Ripper.
Butt Ugly Fall Trend #2: Brocaded Shoes

Nor like Hell is for Children or Love is a Battlefield.
Butt Ugly Fall Trend #3: The Booties That Just Won't Die

Nor do I want to wear anything named after a beast of burden.
Butt Ugly Fall Trend #4: Mules

Mules are a close second to booties for the Cockroaches of the Shoe World award.

Finally, look, just look at what they've done to my beloved peep toe pump!

Butt Ugly Fall Trend #5: Camouflage


Doris Rose said...

guess I'll be stickin' to clodhoppers and warm woolen sockin's. But you have my deepest sympathy and support. I promise to ooh and aaah at whatever you choose.

Orangeblossoms said...

go with the boots, baby.... go with the boots.

Wicked Thistle said...

um, i really liked those mules.

Wicked Thistle said...

...but i liked the southern culture on the skids reference even better.

could i get that quarter from underneath a yore pointy boot?

Jenny said...

Agh, looking at my feet... seeing MULES... thinking, but they are super cute mules.... now pitching them in the trash and wondering if I can get home without them? Then realized I had a "friend" in Wicked Thistle.

moi said...

You know, it's not the design of the mule that gets me so much as the name. Which besides sounding like, well, a mule, also does indeed bear a resemblance to the actual etymology of the word, which comes from the latin, mulleus, which means some kind of ceremonial shoe. So therefore, all I can picture is Louis XIV tottering around the halls of Versailles in similarly styled footwear, making all kinds of whack ass proclamations.

So if that makes you and Wicked "royalty", so be it :o).

Wicked Thistle said...

Ooh, and I *do* so love to make whackass proclamations! It's what I do all day.

Doris Rose said...

all hail Princess Wicked and her mule!

Ms Robinson said...

Cracking post Moi and exactly what I needed. What's the story with these granny brogues? I mean crossing and uncrossing your legs wearing them just aint gonna work, is it?

I prefer an elegant shoe - average three to three and half inch heel. Maybe a slight platform but not much.

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