Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Until Death Do Us Part

Oh my God, I left my brain on the bus!


Here's what I have learned so far this week:

1. As usual, my math is off: For the past seventeen years, I've operated under the assumption that S.B. and I first met on Sunday, November 1, 1994, the day after Halloween. When in actuality, that Sunday was the day after a Halloween PARTY, held Saturday, October 29th, a two full days before the date I've always held in my head.

2. Not that it really matters. I'm jinx-ey about celebrating anniversaries, and S.B. tends to forget stuff unless I Sticky Note it. Birthdays, Christmas, Valentine's, bring it. But I've always tiptoed around the whole until death do us part concept for one thing (what if one of us turns into a serial killer? a wearer of Crocs? a democrat?) and I'm a skeptic about anything institutionalized for another. I figure if I don't look it straight in the eyes, it won't be tempted to attack. So far, it seems to be working.

3. I think that I am actually beginning to hate a show about zombies. And I'll watch zombie anything, but Walking Dead is turning out to be such a clunker, not even a busload of meth addicts could revive it at this point. Speaking of which, anyone see the season finale of Breaking Bad? That was awesome. Also: Homeland. If you haven't seen this, it's worth watching the past episodes online to catch up. Very tense stuff. Also, also: American Horror Story. Scary and funny and sexy (Dylan McDermott is FIFTY? Holy moly. Even S.B. had to comment on that one.).

4. I watch way too much television.

5. I actually made my way through an entire fantasy novel this month, Terry Pratchett's Small Gods (at Troll's rec), and didn't want to throw it against the wall. Au contraire, it was very food for thought-ey, and I loved the whole desert-as-metaphor-for-enlightened-thought bit and also the desert as the purgatory across which the newly dead must make their way to the final place of judgment. When I die, I want to be laid (lain?) out on a flat rock in the New Mexico badlands somewhere, left as food for the coyotes and the vultures. Let that sun soak my bones until they're bleached and scattered. This sends S.B. into a mini conniption fit every time I mention it because most likely he'll be the one who has to carry out my final wishes and most likely this is illegal.

That's all I got. You?

13 comments:

Kurt Koff ESQ said...

Madam,

On behalf of many of my clients, I insist you cease-and-desist committing libel upon them by comparing them to croc-wearers and democrats.

Kurt Koff,
Ben, Dover and Koff.
Attorneys-at-Law

moi said...

Kurt: Oh, that's right, sorry. Serial killers need wuv, too.

Boxer said...

First, Happy Days to you and S.B. Having spent some time in his world, I can say this; he's a good one (and cute.)

Walking Dead - I bailed. I tried to watch last Sunday and after about ten minutes realized I could be pulling dead flowers out of my garden and that actually seemed more interesting.

and... I watch too much TV too.

DEATH'S GHOST said...

I HAVE, IRONICALLY, BECOME FOND OF THE VERY SHORT LIVE-ACTION COMEDIES ON THE CARTOON NETWORK OF LATE.

CHILDREN'S HOSPITAL.
NTSF-SD-SUV.
DELOCATED.
EAGLEHEART.

I WILL GIVE "THE HEART SHE HOLLER" A TRY WHEN IT DEBUTS, AS WELL.

I THINK THEY'RE ALL 15 MINUTES LONG IN HUMAN TIME.

pamokc said...

Ah, congratulations to you and SB. So what about the happily ever after bit? As long as you have your legalities taken care of ... meaning, can he sign a medical release for surgery in case of accidents? This happened to us. Living together; motorcycle accident; near-death experience and surgery. I couldn't sign the papers because no marriage. Certainly a game changer.

And this makes me re-think my math as well. We met on the first Saturday after my birthday during an OU-OSU game at a local pub. But maybe it is the first Saturday in November instead. I better go look that up! God bless Outlook calendars that go back infinitum into time.

moi said...

Boxer: Cute has saved his happy ass on more than one occasion.

Death: I haven't seen any of those, but I do like cartoons. Also: WHY THE FRIG ARE YOU SHOUTING?!? Is that a DEAF thing?

Pam: Yup, twas Outlook that did me in. And don't worry, we're so contractually obligated, we're almost a corporation.

Anonymous said...

i got nuthin. - chickry

Anonymous said...

but happy anni to you and the beast. he is damn cute and not too talkative either - i like that!

moi said...

Chick-Chick: S.B. has two conversational speeds: Gary Cooper and Chatty Kathy. Chatty Kathy comes out when he's really really comfortable with a person or really really impassioned about something.

Wow, that was awkward said...

I am completely offended with the company you have put us democrats in. We would never wear crocs. Gotta go grease up my chainsaw and sharpen my axe now.

moi said...

WTWA: A day without offending someone is like a day without donuts. And it's okay if you're a democrat. Half my friends are and I don't even make fun of them behind their backs or anything. But if you ever consider coming over to the libertarian side of things, I'm here for you.

fishy said...

Actually ... you read as happy.
Congratulations to SB for his fine judgement in women. I mean if he has endorsements from Boxer and Chicky plus 17 years of happily ever aftering with you I'd figure this boy had got the goodz.

Pee Ess: Welcome to FishyMath!

moi said...

Fishy: Fishy Math? Whew. All along I thought it was Moi Math. I don't feel so alone now.