What Was She Thinking? The Troll Interview

This is a little meme that has been going around the blogs and when I read Troll's interview this morning I thought, why not. The thing about interviews is that they very often reveal interesting things about the person doing the asking, and not just the answering.

At any rate, if you're interesting in playing along, you can read the rules below.

In the meantime, The Troll asks Moi Five Pertinent Questions for the Day:

TROLL: Post apocalypse, you can only have one gun and five rounds of ammo. What do you choose?

MOI: My first instinct was to choose the Glock 19 because I can shoot it like it were a stick of butter and the magazine holds 15 rounds with one in the chamber. But then S.B. said ixnay to the automatic eaponway in a post apocalypse world because it can wear out. Therefore, despite the fact that I’m a crap shot with it, I’d choose the S&W 357 magnum revolver with which I can shoot both 38s and 357s. But S.B. said my real pick should the Remington R-25 semi automatic assault rifle, with the camo body, natch.

TROLL: Describe the experience of eating your favorite SAVORY baked good and provide us the recipe.

MOI: About eight or nine years ago when I was writing restaurant reviews for a local alternative weekly, I was sent to a now sadly defunct Moroccan restaurant just across from the university. That’s where I tasted my first ever bastilla, the crowing glory of North African cuisine. Bastilla is traditionally made with pigeon but here in the states chicken is substituted because, well, would YOU want to eat an American pigeon? But the rest is pretty spot on: a mixture of chopped chicken, scrambled eggs, sliced almonds, and fragrant spices all wrapped inside a phyllo-type dough, deep fried and topped with a generous dusting of cinnamon and powdered sugar. Love at first bite –sweet and savory, crispy and custardy. And I can’t give you the recipe because for some reason I’ve never actually made one, but I might now, given the yummy looking recipes I just Googled.



TROLL: Two-Parter: Why don't libertarian-leaning Conservatives have more influence on today's Republican Party? Why don't moderates have any influence on today's Traitor-Democrat-Party-Of-Filth?

MOI: Because it is my belief that most people either want to enslave or be enslaved. Few want to do neither and instead stand alone, take responsibility for their own actions, and refrain from sucking the life from others. Go ahead and ask someone, “Do you believe in individual liberty?” and you will most likely get an answer in the affirmative. Yet five minutes later that same person will get all up in arms over some perceived injustice and demand the government make some kind of law or take some kind of action to remedy the situation, which usually ends up doing more harm than good. Therefore, since most of us want to control or be controlled, it is no surprise that true conservatives and moderates – who operate from a rational, healthy distrust of government – currently have no influence over the Republican and Democratic parties. That’s because the R&D ideology and methodology as it stands today is fascist, fostering fear, hate, and hysteria in order to gain control over every part of our lives from cradle to grave. Unfortunately, we the people are buying the fascist philosophies, on both sides, hook, line, and sinker. Why? Perhaps because we’ve lost our capacity for rugged individualism, righteous indignation, and charitable concern for family, friends, and neighbors. We need to quit being so lazy in our thinking.



TROLL: You have a year to go someplace appropriate with a companion and write the "Great American Novel" with no other responsibilities. Where do you and the Ivanator go and what's the central theme of the novel?

MOI: We head to Springdale, Utah, which sits at the entrance to Zion National Park, to work on a book I envision as a kind of Deliverance, but with chicks. Central theme of the novel is the inability of modern American females to define a roll for ourselves in the face of failed feminist ethics, and the implications for our embattled attempts to seek meaning in everything from mindless sexual encounters to power careers to New Age religions. (When, really, all we need is a good set of heels and a Glock.)



TROLL: What are your 3 favorite dog-breeds and why?

MOI: Irish Wolfhounds – studies in supreme sweetness, majesty, and grace. Aristocratic in their bearing without ever being standoffish, they are the gentlest of the canine giants.

Alaskan Malamute/any of the Alaskan sled dog breeds – brave, tough, fiercely independent. They are the call of the wild, the heart of primeval canis lupis.

The American Pit Bull Terrier – tenacious, joyful, resilient, forgiving, they are unwavering in their love for life, liberty, and the pursuit of a good time. Their unabashed adoration of humans of all sizes, shapes, and ages make them the ultimate working and companion animal.

Want to be interviewed by Moi? Here's the instructions:

1. Leave me a comment saying, "Interview me."

2. I will respond by emailing you five questions. (I get to pick the questions).

3. You will update your blog with the answers to the questions and let me know when you have posted it, so I can link it.

4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.

5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.