Wednesday, January 14, 2009

What Was She Thinking? The Troll Interview

This is a little meme that has been going around the blogs and when I read Troll's interview this morning I thought, why not. The thing about interviews is that they very often reveal interesting things about the person doing the asking, and not just the answering.

At any rate, if you're interesting in playing along, you can read the rules below.

In the meantime, The Troll asks Moi Five Pertinent Questions for the Day:

TROLL: Post apocalypse, you can only have one gun and five rounds of ammo. What do you choose?

MOI: My first instinct was to choose the Glock 19 because I can shoot it like it were a stick of butter and the magazine holds 15 rounds with one in the chamber. But then S.B. said ixnay to the automatic eaponway in a post apocalypse world because it can wear out. Therefore, despite the fact that I’m a crap shot with it, I’d choose the S&W 357 magnum revolver with which I can shoot both 38s and 357s. But S.B. said my real pick should the Remington R-25 semi automatic assault rifle, with the camo body, natch.

TROLL: Describe the experience of eating your favorite SAVORY baked good and provide us the recipe.

MOI: About eight or nine years ago when I was writing restaurant reviews for a local alternative weekly, I was sent to a now sadly defunct Moroccan restaurant just across from the university. That’s where I tasted my first ever bastilla, the crowing glory of North African cuisine. Bastilla is traditionally made with pigeon but here in the states chicken is substituted because, well, would YOU want to eat an American pigeon? But the rest is pretty spot on: a mixture of chopped chicken, scrambled eggs, sliced almonds, and fragrant spices all wrapped inside a phyllo-type dough, deep fried and topped with a generous dusting of cinnamon and powdered sugar. Love at first bite –sweet and savory, crispy and custardy. And I can’t give you the recipe because for some reason I’ve never actually made one, but I might now, given the yummy looking recipes I just Googled.

TROLL: Two-Parter: Why don't libertarian-leaning Conservatives have more influence on today's Republican Party? Why don't moderates have any influence on today's Traitor-Democrat-Party-Of-Filth?

MOI: Because it is my belief that most people either want to enslave or be enslaved. Few want to do neither and instead stand alone, take responsibility for their own actions, and refrain from sucking the life from others. Go ahead and ask someone, “Do you believe in individual liberty?” and you will most likely get an answer in the affirmative. Yet five minutes later that same person will get all up in arms over some perceived injustice and demand the government make some kind of law or take some kind of action to remedy the situation, which usually ends up doing more harm than good. Therefore, since most of us want to control or be controlled, it is no surprise that true conservatives and moderates – who operate from a rational, healthy distrust of government – currently have no influence over the Republican and Democratic parties. That’s because the R&D ideology and methodology as it stands today is fascist, fostering fear, hate, and hysteria in order to gain control over every part of our lives from cradle to grave. Unfortunately, we the people are buying the fascist philosophies, on both sides, hook, line, and sinker. Why? Perhaps because we’ve lost our capacity for rugged individualism, righteous indignation, and charitable concern for family, friends, and neighbors. We need to quit being so lazy in our thinking.

TROLL: You have a year to go someplace appropriate with a companion and write the "Great American Novel" with no other responsibilities. Where do you and the Ivanator go and what's the central theme of the novel?

MOI: We head to Springdale, Utah, which sits at the entrance to Zion National Park, to work on a book I envision as a kind of Deliverance, but with chicks. Central theme of the novel is the inability of modern American females to define a roll for ourselves in the face of failed feminist ethics, and the implications for our embattled attempts to seek meaning in everything from mindless sexual encounters to power careers to New Age religions. (When, really, all we need is a good set of heels and a Glock.)

TROLL: What are your 3 favorite dog-breeds and why?

MOI: Irish Wolfhounds – studies in supreme sweetness, majesty, and grace. Aristocratic in their bearing without ever being standoffish, they are the gentlest of the canine giants.

Alaskan Malamute/any of the Alaskan sled dog breeds – brave, tough, fiercely independent. They are the call of the wild, the heart of primeval canis lupis.

The American Pit Bull Terrier – tenacious, joyful, resilient, forgiving, they are unwavering in their love for life, liberty, and the pursuit of a good time. Their unabashed adoration of humans of all sizes, shapes, and ages make them the ultimate working and companion animal.

Want to be interviewed by Moi? Here's the instructions:

1. Leave me a comment saying, "Interview me."

2. I will respond by emailing you five questions. (I get to pick the questions).

3. You will update your blog with the answers to the questions and let me know when you have posted it, so I can link it.

4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.

5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.


czar said...

What's it like to actually have ideas in your head and the eloquence to express them beautifully? See, that's why I only get paid to move commas around. I'd be frightened by the questions, especially Troll's. Maybe you'd throw me some softballs, like "What color shirt are you wearing?" or "What's your highest bowling score?"

Aunty Belle said...


Serious stuff.

Amazin' answers, 'specially the "heels and glock." HOOOWWWLLLL.

I like big dawgs too--an mah Mama had wolfhounds after us'uns was growed up. Youse tellin' it true, they is dignified and gentle dawgs....but when they howl, that sound carries across moor and mountain, swamp and prairie an' will curdle yore blood to cottage cheese.

SB rises another notch. Fine answers, Moi.

pamokc said...

I'm ready to buy that novel right now. Great theme for a good read! Great questions, fun answers. Really liked the conversation re personal liberties.

Gnomeself Be True said...

Sorry, everything got kinda fuzzy after "mindless sexual encounters."
You were saying what?

I'd be up for the interview...but alas, I am without blog.

moi said...

Czar: I’d ask you what it was like to babysit Hunter S. Thompson.

Aunty: Yes, that howling sound is something, isn't it?

Pam: The problem with politics is that it's all about power, and not really about people.

Gnome: Well, that's no problem. Answer here. How about just one question: You have one day all to yourself – no work, family, cooking, cleaning, or other obligations. You can do whatever you want/go wherever you want, the only caveat being you can’t take a single photograph. What do you do?

Gnomeself Be True said...

I'll take a day and night in Venice please...I'll curse you for not letting me have a camera and forgive you many times over if I get to pick someone to accompany me.

moi said...

Pick away . . . But he/she must be over the age of 30.

Gnomeself Be True said...

That's rather controlling of you...not letting me select a nymphlet, if that were my preference.
Fortunately, I'd want to enjoy the vertical conversations as much as the horizontal and the candidates in my mind are over 40.

Doris Rose said...

Very interesting, thanks for yet another view. I am totally intimidated by your laser-beam curiosity...No way sistah.

AL (the evaluator) GORE said...

The questions were simply brilliant. Obviously this Troll fellow is a genuis!

The answers were well-written and revealing too.

AL (jealous guy) GORE said...

Tell Gnome to stop fantasizing about Tipper!

Wow, that was awkward said...

One of the best hikes I ever took was up the Virgin River in Zion Canyon. Literally hiking in the river. We took forever because we stopped every ten yards to take pictures and soak in mother nature. We left at the crack of Dawn so as to avoid other people. It was heavenly. Great choice of where to write.

Wow, that was awkward said...

^^ Laughing that I capped 'dawn'. I only know one Dawn and we did not leave at her crack.

moi said...

Gnome: I am not controlling. Just opinionated. So, spill it. Who do you take?

Doris: Aw, come on. I want to hear more about your days in El Lay!

Al: Tell Tipper we will NEVER forget what she did to foster the PRMC. Nev'ah.

WTWA: Lately, I am on the freakin' warpath about capitalizing common nouns. This. Is not. Deutschland. But you get a pass. This time. Because you know that Zion rocks.

Gnomeself Be True said..., think I'll keep that one to myself.

Great question you asked me though. Really goes to who I would be without the things that commonly define me.

Boxer said...

jeez, the Dude is very serious with those questions.

OK - YOU interview me, Moi.

K9 said...

the scene right before burt kills "squeal like a pig". oh boy young burt reynolds looked good.

youre answer to #3 deserves to become a poster meme in the way the red white and blue "hope" did. if only it could be distilled. what you wrote is true and so sad.

im going to ask SB's advice on my next rifle. i dont like glocks they look like someone melted down plastic and poured it out on a sidewalk and it kinda sorta resembles a gun -that said i know they are reliable but its not an elegant weapon.

my indian restaurant makes their own version of bastilla. with beef.

you can interview me. ive got nothing i might as well do a meme.

K9 said...

i knew a wolfhound. good dog. had its own pet- a cockatiel that rode on her back.

moi said...

Gnome: No fair. Okay, so if you could take only ONE photo of ONE thing in Venice . . .

Boxer: Cool! I will! Give me until end of day or tomorrow – I'm out for most of today.

K9: Burt Reynolds most definitely alpha :o) SB says depends on what you plan to hunt and if it's going to make you cry when you shoot it. See my email. Oh, and I'll be happy to interview you! See Boxer's answer above.

the Dread Pirate Rackham said...

i'm a leetle beet askeered, but OK. interview me.

that mediterranean restaurant on san mateo near copper is where I had my first bastilla - a little different than the moroccan place (no egg), but quite a dish.

Gnomeself Be True said...

One thing? I guess I could do the overdone shot of St. Mark's square with a few tourists and pigeons.
I could spend months there wandering with a camera, setting up at a single location at various times of day to enjoy the light.
It's a paradise of photo opportunities.

moi said...

:Pirate: Coolio! Questions to come . . . Is that restaurant still there?

Gnome: The light, I hear, is fab.

pamokc said...

Moi, I have a bit of a different take on politics. Might have to discuss sometimes. I work around it every day. God help me.

moi said...

Pam: would love to discuss some day. i wish someone would change my cynical mind :o).