Tuesday, November 15, 2011


Okey dokey, y'all, I have made my decision. It wasn't easy and if I don't mention your haiku specifically, it's simply because of lack of time, not admiration. Each and every one of these had something to recommend them, but as with most things in life, there can only be one winner.

I copied, pasted, printed, and read and re-read—silently and aloud—all your haikus several times. I read them to myself, I read them to the dogs, I read them in the car while waiting at red lights. I read them at lunch over salad and creme soda, but then I got distracted because I thought to myself, self? Why doesn't creme soda get the recognition it deserves? That damn root beer, it hogs all the limelight.

At any rate, I would like to spotlight a few things that struck me:

TROLL: For "Smokey mountain maze," a most excellent and beautifully evocative phrase. Also, "Sucking up to Judge 101" is clever, clever, clever ("Not this year pilgrim!" bwahahahahaha!) and yes, I can be sucked up to. It's spelled: C-H-A-N-E-L. But since ain't none of us has that kind of cash, don't worry. This contest remains, for the moment, honest.

ANONYMOUS: What's this? A love haiku? Doth someone lurk amongst us who is crushing on Mr. Troll? Come on, don't be shy. Inquiring, nosy-ass minds want to know. And this is a most awesome haiku, elegantly entendre-ed.

FLEUR: For Fleur, our resident Kate Bush of Haiku in High Heels, love is a battlefield. A stranger in an open car. A gas. An eventual pain in the ass. And boy, don't Pat Benetar and Debbie Harry wish they'd written "primal shrieks and steamed silence?" I know I do.

CZAR: Our resident Mash Up Artiste manages in only 17 quick syllables to summarize the entire history of mankind from unformed universe to the space race. It's pretty breathtaking, what he does here.

K9: Today's so-called extreme adventurers lack a certain something. I'm not sure what it is. Heart, maybe? Soul? At any rate, K9 nailed it.

SERENDIPITY: A relative newcomer to these here games, Serendipity's "Snow Mistake," reminds us that for every thrill we chase, there's danger, even death, ready to stick its foot out to trip us up.

COREY JO: Wrote a lovely homage to armchair adventurers everywhere who seek their thrills in the pages of books. What I like most about it, is the reiteration of the word bound, which works here because of the contrast it sets up: by virtue of the fact that they are literally bound, books allow us unlimited imaginative movement. Nicely done.

But two haiku stood out for me: Foam's and Karl's second ones, both of which put us in media res of an actual adventure. One of those adventures starts off pitch perfect and then, thanks to the arbitrary nature of Mother Nature, ends up being something else entirely. The other, which was never pitch perfect to begin with; in fact, it was one for which Ms. Foam was most likely extremely ill-prepared. But she did it anyway. As a result, both our intrepid writers ended up not with cracked skulls (thank goodness), but with bruised "bums." And egos. Well, well done.

But the one that won out was Karl's. By a nose and a smidgeon more of cinematic phrasing.

High exit, crisp, calm.
Freefall frolic. Winds change, blow.
Backward bean field ride.

Congrats, Karl! I have no prezzies to bestow this time around. But then again, when you want presents, they just mail themselves to your door.


darkfoam said...

congrats to karl!! i'd say he won by way more then a nose and a smidgeon .. :)

Anonymous said...

Yea Karl! I was sure you had it. That was just too good not to win it.


chickory said...


When Karl writes Haiku, the world stills to a Zen calm.

When Karl writes Haiku, angels and Chuck Norris weep.


COngratulations Karl. Well Done. the prize was the comment thread from last night...and readers, its a treat to read about the real most interesting man in the world.

Moi - its never an easy job. Thank you. cream soda is the best Dum Dum too.

czar said...

I don't care at all for cream soda, but it beats the hell out of Cel-Ray.

And for me, Karl was a hands-down winner here.

Great week, Moi.

Jenny said...

Karl is such a good Haiku writer, Master Basho's Ghost asks him for advise.

No? We've stopped? Oh. Ok.

Well, CONGRATS to Karl because it really was great and once again, Moi did a wonderful job judging. Not easy. There were some contenders.

moi said...

Mmmmmm . . . Cream Soda Dum Dums . . . And I love Cel-Ray! Seriously! It's da bomb!

Anonymous said...

Congrats Karl! Good hosting Moi!

I can't substitute-host this week, so, if Karl passes, he needs to select a designated host. I'll be in a foreign land on a grand adventure Friday-Tuesday.

Not KARL-level adventure but...

fishy said...

Double OH! Karl :-) :-) :-)

CJ said...

Congrats Karl! Most excellent haiku.

Thank you again Moi for letting me fix my faux pas. I missed a few weeks there and it feels good to compete again. I'm glad you liked it. I wasn't sure it would even rank. :)


Pam said...

Congrats Karl! Adventure finds him even in a haiku! Loved all the Karl one-liners too. I have a feeling those things are going to come flying out every once in a while no matter what. I want to see that man's resume. And if Mrs. Karl keeps bees, what else is she doing that we don't know about? Intriguing for sure!

Anonymous said...

Ahhh Moi,
it's a pleasure to write for you.
All meanings are quarried by your nimble intellect.

Yes, tis true I have much admiration for our Troll. It is an act of tremendous courage to venture forth once more to love. In the end, is not love our greatest adventure?

moi said...

Anonymous: Oh, no, now we have a mystery on our hands. And I hate a mystery. I MUST KNOW ALL! Courage? Adventure? Yes. Because I have a feeling there are a lot of gals around these here parts who are going to want to run you through their Gauntlets of Worthiness when it comes to Troll.

Aunty Belle said...

How much fun wuz all this?

Stellar hostin', Moi Cherie...

An' Sir Fair, felicitations on that most excellent account of jes' one of yore storied adventures!

@ boxer-Babe,

hahahaha! Clevah Chile'!

Aunty Belle said...

An' Cream Soda is Top Drawer.

Fleurdeleo said...

Nice going, Karl! Wonderful haiku.

And Moi, your comments are their own prizes! Great, great fun and competition as always.

Karl said...

Wow I'm honored. Everyone's entries were so good this week. Thanks so much for hosting. It was quite a lively time. Thank you all for kind and comical comments.

I will host this week. Topic to be announced later.

By the way. When I started diving the Mark-V (the dive suit in the photo) was still in common use. And that 1 inch drive impact wrench the divers holding is still in use.

Who needs the mail, when the snap of fingers will do;)

moi said...

Karl: Looking forward to it! I just hope your Haiku Contest doesn't involve any of us having to sky dive or water dive :o)

Rafael said...

Congrats Karl!

Wonderful words and beautifully packaged prose!

I'd tell ya to go get your superstar pants back from Troll, but you seem to be doing just fine with the ladies in just your unders. (Or is it you running all commando style that has 'em titillating so?)


P.S. Moi, you have a wonderful style about your hosting...very well done!

moi said...

Rafe: You are too kind, sir. I suspect Karl's secret is his scuba diving suit.

Karl said...

Good afternoon Moi, Howdy all,

How do you feel about repelling?
Just kidding.

The topic for next week's Haiku is "Expression". Whatever the dictionary allows, from a look on the face, to milk for a babe. 5-7-5 rules apply.

I will have a post up Sunday afternoon for the competition. Good luck to all who wish to play.

To our anonymous friends. If you have any difficulty posting on my site, please stop back here and leave a message and your haiku.

moi said...

Karl: Great topic, thanks!

Karl said...

Good Afternoon Moi,

Howdy All.

Haiku Monday: Expression is up at the Korner.