Friday, January 7, 2011

Double, Double, Toil For Your Troubles


Just when you think the world is getting way too 21st century pragmatic and progressive, a story like this comes along to remind us that Dark Age sensibilities still poke at the furthest corners of our civilization.

Apparently, in an effort to raise revenue to alleviate Romania's economic crisis, Prime Minister Emil Boc (how very vampirian), backed by President Traian Basescu (who names these people?), has decided to slap a big ol' tax on the income of his country's witches, fortunetellers, and fringe folk who otherwise make their living capitalizing on Romania's reputation as one of the most superstitious countries in the known universe, outside of perhaps Northern California.

Apparently, these dudes have never read Macbeth. Piss off a witch, and they strike back with a vengeance. “We do harm to those who harm us," sayeth one old gal, who goes simply by the name of Witch Alicia. "They want to take the country out of this crisis using us? They should get us out of the crisis because they brought us into it . . . my curses always work."

At last report, the witches had settled upon an ancient spell involving "cat poo and dead dog" to curse Romania's president and every member of the government. They also plan to hurl poison mandrake into the Danube to further strengthen their spell.

"This law is foolish," said another witch over the telephone to an AP reporter (apparently, her powers of telepathy were on the fritz that day.) "What is there to tax, when we hardly earn anything? The lawmakers don't look at themselves, at how much they make, their tricks; they steal and they come to us asking us to put spells on their enemies."

Pass the Fresca and the popcorn, Party People, and just think of how awesome it would be if this actually worked.

14 comments:

LaDivaCucina said...

How can you tax that stuff anyway? They'll waste a lot of time and money trying. Just goes to show you how threatened some men are by a woman's power, cuz you know most of them are women! I foresee a curse of the pickled purple pecker...

chickory said...

count me in. I'll throw in a few bloody chicken feathers and lit up gourds if it helps!

Aunty Belle said...

Is THAT why we have so many dead birds and dead fish ever'whar'? The witches wuz jes a shade off in their geography?

moi said...

La Diva: Totally, right? Is the gooberment going to require them to write invoices for all of their services? Fill out special tax reporting forms?

Chickory: Some good old-fashioned Santeria outta put some extra scare on it, too.

Aunty: Could be. Some of them gals showing up in the news reports seem a wee bit addled.

Boxer said...

Your tag made me spit out my coffee.

How do they know how much these people make? I'm sure it's a cash basis system. Or maybe some eye of newt and toe of frog. Either way, good luck boys trying to collect that tax. It's hard to say "pay up" when you've been turned into a goat.

Milk River Madman said...

I'll tell you this for free, if this curse thing works there will be a huge new industry in becoming a witch or warlock. Not to mention what it will do for box office revenue of the new Nick Cage movie.

Master Basho's Senate Candidate said...

I am not a witch.
I'm nothing you've heard. I'm you!
And you. And you too.

Master Basho's Angry Prophet Ghost said...

Cursed Roma runes.
Arkansas Aflockalypse.
Heed these signs. Repent!

moi said...

Boxer: Or a horse's ass.

Milk: It was all downhill for Nick after Con Air.

Senate Candidate: And you can be bought, too.

Angry Prophet: These are birdensome times, indeed.

Roses said...

I saw Season of the Witch last night. Ummm...it wasn't awful, but not much to recommend it.

Good luck to the tax collectors. It'll cost them more to extract the taxes, than the taxes they'll extract. That'll learn 'em.

moi said...

Roses: Most excellent point, and really the rub when it comes to government, overall, isn't it?

Aunty Belle said...

Aflockalypse?

Birdensome?


Luvin' the wordplay!! Mercy, these is worth a prize.

K9 said...

This week's Haiku Monday host page is here.

fishy said...

This is fine entertainment!
Of course, now that you have created a market for Wits, you will be taxed.