Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Use Your Illusion


I'm not sure who to blame for my latest television obsession. I think it might be A.B. Or maybe K9. No matter. Unfortunately, I have become hook, line, and sinkered for The Real Housewives of Atlanta, a "reality" show that seriously makes me wonder for the survival of the human race.

As A.B. would say: show puts the "k" in classy, y'all!

There is so much here that if I somehow managed to stay alive until the end of the universe, I couldn't begin to cover the audacious head-scratching wonder of it all. 

But let's just say, one of the characters? A dingy ass blonde name Kim? Twenty-nine years old, looks fifty-nine, acts oh-nine? 
She spells cat, K-A-T.

23 comments:

czar said...

Which reality show has ever bolstered your impression of humans? I think reality shows are like everyone's nearby state that they like to diss. Georgia: Well, at least we're not Alabama. Alabama: Well, at least we're not Mississippi. Mississippi: Uh . . . Albania? In the words of Linus van Pelt, "I love humanity. It's people I can't stand."

Wicked Thistle said...

I think, in the end, that I will be glad that I don't have cable. Or satellite. Or BluRay. Or whatever we call it these days.

And czar? I'm needlepointing that quote on a pillow.

Big Shamu said...

Dude, did you see the look on the other woman's face when the blond spelled "cat"? Worth the price of cable.

The Java Junkie said...

Moi, the same thing happened to me with the Orange County housewives. It's a trainwreck, but you can't pull yourself away from it. Amazing. We should start a support group...

moi said...

Czar: I'd SO dig it if Hollyweird came up with a program called "Real Housewives of Southhaven."

Wicked: And I'll cross stitch it and at our next Crafting Day? We'll check in with each other and realize each of us are only half done.

Shamu: YES! Shiree or whatever the heck fire her name is? The one who told Kim she has a "beautiful voice"? Definitely a Fresca spewing moment.

Java: Hello, My Name is Moi, and I'm a Housewives Addict. Hello, Moi. Welcome. We share your pain. Have a donut.

iamnot said...

Looks like prom night for marginally reformed crack Hos.
How'd that token white girl get in there?

Wendy said...

I've never watched the show, but I've seen the commercials, and I swear that some of them are drag queens.

EmmaK said...

Wow, brave of you to watch this. I watched the Real Housewives of New York on several occasions. It made me cry Moi. These women had stylists to pick out their clothes and they were wearing neon green with leopard skin, they were wearing the ugliest looking stuff on God's earth, with orange spray on tans etc. It was too painful for me to watch. And don't get me started on their horrendous palm trees and pineapple interior decor!

moi said...

Iamnot: I think that was, in fact, a show tag line: "From Crack 'ho to Housewife."

Wendy: I dunno. I know drag queens with more sex appeal.

Emma: All that money makes such a succulent sound, but it doesn't buy the ability to dress. You should SEE the way these gals outfit themselves. Then again, maybe not. We need you alive and kicking.

Anonymous said...

Mississippi? At least we's not Arkansas.

Doris Rose said...

Ja , I watched it twice and had the same visceral reaction I had to "Bridezillas" OMG frightening.Set the Womens movement back 200years.

Wow, that was awkward said...

That show must not run on ESPN. Never heard of it.

A.B. said...

Yaaaahhhhhh, a post about my new dirty secret. Can we move on to Gossip Girl once Real Housewives is over? I loved NeNe "helping" her son do homework, only to have her husband have to explain fractions to them both. For a woman who seems to understand the value of money (or marrying money) she couldn't get her head aroud what's bigger: 1/2 or 1/3? Guess what? She got it wrong. As Shamu says, worth the price of cable!

K9 said...

i saw that big shamu! grrerhahaha KAT! grrherhahaha last nights issue was a bit lackluster although it was great to see bob whitfield (shereeeeee's ex) come in. i like lisa's husband the best of any person on that show. i cannot stand Kim i wonder if big poppa still pays her bills she is so cheap and stupid. Jaysus youd think a rich man would want quality.

people in Atlanta are mortified, and like the big shots in the NYC said of "their" housewives: we dont know these "socialites"

how about when kim and shere kept telling each other how beautiful the other was? have these people ever had a conversation past what some crap cost or how much foundation they could pack on their faces?

Nene's husband is a protrait in grace. what ridicule these poor men must face. and do you think a mother with her head on straight wants their kid to hang around with kims 11 year old who carries a louis vuitton purse paid for by sugar daddy?

i wouldnt let TROUT hang with them. grrherhaha

my post on this later this week. i got an illustration gig! woo hoo. gotta paint.

moi said...

Anon: I love Mississippi. Wholeheartedly. I'm just saying, if folks want "Real" . . .

Doris Rose: And fashion all the way back beyond Victoria's Secret into Frederick's of Hollywood.

WTWA: Wow. You really do have control of the remote.

A.B.: I know, huh? Brilliant! "Which would you rather have, one half of something or one third." She couldn't answer!

K9: I was thinking the same thing about Big Poppa. Who, I swear, is either a pimp or 80 bazillion years old. Girl's elevated the concept of White Trash to a whole nuther level.

K9 said...

big pappa is an indian born developer in the ATL - i read on an atl gossip blog that his kid is on the show "the hills" sometime as brody jenners side kick. *whatever*

big story today is 16% vacancy commercial leases in ATL and meltdown as there is no body wanting to buy all these glittering high rise apts. no! really?

im sure they will shake us taxpayers down shortly. hey -rats are good swimmers arent they? cause im like, off the ship asap. grrrrhahahahaha

A.B. said...

I read that Sheree was arrested (twice) in Ohio in her early 20's. Hee. But, K9 has the real lowdown on the 'hood.

and.....

glub, glub, glub.

K9 said...

cut and paste:

Is Lee Najjar the real estate tycoon in Duluth, Georgia, “Big Papa?”
If you watch the second episode where Kim is texting with NeNe and Sheree, there is a moment where her text inbox is revealed. In the inbox there are several messages from “Lee” including “Miss U”. If you have the show on Tivo you can go in slow motion and see it very clearly. Anybody who gives a contrary answer is trying to cover for her since he is already married. That’s right married.
“Big Papa” is in fact Married which we suspected and is a multi, multi millionaire real estate developer. He’s not black and He’s not white. He has a major part in the re-development of the Buckhead area in Atlanta, Ga. he is turning it into a Rodeo Drive sort of shopping district. He has 2 sons that we know of. One of which is good friends with Brody Jenner from MTV’s “The Hills”. The son, Jared Najjar pretty much Bank-Rolls Brody and all his friends out in L.A. (even used to support Spencer Pratt)!

The Java Junkie said...

Moi, to add to your growing reality addiction, you are cordially invited to our live Top Chef chat tonight...a link will be posted on both sites.
Top Chef
Karmic Kitchen
Hope you'll join us! (All are welcome!)

moi said...

K9: Good work, Miz K9 Detective! I had an idea he was married. I mean, only someone with either A. Class, or B. A wife, would not want their face shown on telebision. And we've seen Kim, so there goes "class." As for Buckhead: I'm constantly slipping up and calling it Buckethead. (Although I have to admit, it's awfully pretty.)

A.B.: Hee! Sticky fingers, no?

Java: Thanks for the invite; I'll be there!

A.B. said...

awww, but Kimmy wants to get married, that's gonna be kinda hard? Aahaha - she's the perfect trashy girlfriend you stash in a townhouse. That's why the Dude doesn't want to be on a TeeVee show. Well done K9!

A.B. said...

Do you see the previews for next week? Looks like Michael Knight from Project Runway is on with Sheree... and by the look on her face... she not happy. Woot!!!!!!

moi said...

Kewl. Kat fight!