Tuesday, September 25, 2007

She Needs a New Toy to Keep Her Head Expanding


According to recent news reports Angelina Jolie (shown here greatly improving the plight of yet another underprivileged child by gifting her a matching mother/daughter Valentino handbag) is severely depressed by her inability to change things for the better in the Third World.

I know, huh? We all had such high hopes for her, believing she was the answer to ending world hunger, human rights violations, and child slavery, just by wishing it so.

So I guess I understand the shopping therapy tactic.

But for handbags, Party People.

Not for children.


13 comments:

Orangeblossoms said...

that tote freaks me out. seriously. doesn't she know that it's (probably) made by small exploited children....

Anonymous Boxer said...

Can she adopt me?

the Dread Pirate Rackham said...

matching handbags.

Matching thousand dollar handbags.

Yeah, that's an appropriate gift for your child, sure...

(but only if you're angelina jolie)

EmmaK said...

Angelina might feel a little better if she, say, gave away her last year's earnings from her movies. That might make a little dent in the problems of the Third World, rather than lots of lip service that she donates a proportion of her income to charity (can't remember what proportion but not that much considering how much she earns).

Doris Rose said...

Bill Maher had a great new rule-that Angelina Jolie must put her children down and let them walk. I never cared much for her until I saw her interviewed by Charlie Rose. I was extremely impressed. Yes, she and Brad have a butt-load of money, but they are both doing some incredible work which does not receive the kind of publicity as the handbag crap, really, why must the media either horrify or ridicule.

moi said...

Orange: yes, that tote is definitely the white shag carpet of the handbag world. Puhleeze.

AB: I think she should adopt the universe. Then everything would be just fine.

Dread Pirate: And I hear she gives her kids $50 for every tooth lost to spend exactly as they wish. Again, my campaign for her adopting us all. I needs me a new pair of fall pumps and a winter running outfit.

Emmak: Hey, I'm honored you dropped by! I got nothing against the really rich tight fisting their earnings. But if you're going to wave the flag of altruism in everyone's face, then, yeah, money talks.

Doris Rose: Just like dog training. The more you carry 'em around, the more spoiled they get. And the more likely they are to crap on the floor once you do let go. At any rate, I think her problem is that, like so many folks in her position, she feels such pervasive guilt over her luxury lifestyle (acquired mostly via luck of the draw instead of honest hard work) that she spends her life in this twilight zone of moral equivocation.

Ms Robinson said...

I don't get the handbags costing a trillion dollars thing full stop.

As for Angelina I suspect that you are spot on when you say that she is continually trying to offset her privileged position. I don't doubt her sincerity but I am sick of having the moral conflicts of wealthy people thrust down my throat. Can they just shut up and do it.

And don't get me started on fucking Bono.

Orangeblossoms said...

maybe fucking bono *is* the answer.... thanks ms robinson :~o

czar said...

Doris Rose: The media must horrify or ridicule because, as with government, we get the media we deserve. Some day we are going to return to some civility in this country, which means not excoriating every person who disagrees with us or who disagrees with whatever politician we're blindly following this week. It also means conducting our good works in private. What did Mia Farrow have, something like 12 kids, 6 or 7 of whom were adopted from other nations? Did we get a day-by-day tally of her plans? (Not that I'm a big Mia Farrow fan. A friend who lives in a tony part of Connecticut has a daughter who is friends with one of MF's daughters, and all ain't paradise. Then again, if my 18-year-old daughter ran off with my 65-year-old boyfriend, I might be off my feed for a while as well.)

Stepherz said...

This post is great! But I'm with Anonymous Boxer. I want to be adopted! I've never had a designer anything unless I got lucky at TJ Max. Doh!

Meghan said...

maybe_this_next_child_was_a
free_gift_with_the_handbag.

(sorrymyspacebarisbroken)

the Dread Pirate Rackham said...

I'd fuck Bono.

wait. For world peace? A handbag?

What was the question?

moi said...

All y'all are pee-my-pants funny, I swear.

Czar: nice to see you out and about again.

Stepherz: Two words: eBay and Target Boutique (shhhhhh)

Meghan: Your camera must be sucking all the technology out of your homestead for its Super Powers.

Ms R, Orange, and Pirate: To weigh in on Bono, nope wouldn't do him, despite my Scots-Irish tendencies (or would that just be the Scotch?)