Culinary Smackdown: BATTLE TOFU!

What choo talking 'bout Willis? Tofu? In a Culinary Smackdown? Well, yeah, if the last competition's winner was our resident vegetetamarian, vetetarist, um, blogger who doesn't eat meat. Except fish. She could have chosen fish. But she didn't. She chose tofu. And while that might get some people's panties in a twist, really, it's a rather genius choice. Because it's going to force some folks to scramble. (Heh. See what I did there? . . . Oh, never mind. If you, too, had spent the past two months trying to make industrial machinery sound sexy you would cut me a big fat literary break right here, right now.)

Anyway. Here's my entry:

Panko Fried Tofu Strips with Asparagus Pasta

Por le Tofu:

1 pkg extra firm tofu, pressed (or, do what I do, wrap the chunk o'fu in a couple layers of paper towel and set out for 30 minutes or so. The towels will soak up all the moisture and you'll have workable tofu, a la:)

1/2 cup all purpose white flour mixed with 2 T. cornstarch
1 large egg, preferably from a local chicken, beaten (the egg, not the chicken)
1 cup Panko breadcrumbs mixed with:
1 t. salt
1 t. lemon pepper
1 t. dried parsley
1 t. dried basil
1 t. dried thyme
Peanut oil

Por le Pasta:

1 pound of angel hair pasta
1 bundle asparagus, lightly steamed al dente
1 T. butter
1 T. olive oil
2 large cloves garlic, minced
1 cup chicken broth
1 cup heavy cream
1/4 cup fresh Italian parsley, minced
2 T fresh basil, minced
1/4 cup grated parmesan cheese
Salt and pepper to taste

Por le Sauce:

1/4 cup basil pesto (if not homemade, try and find Buttoni)
1/4 cup heavy cream

Putting it all together:
In three separate plates, place the flour/corn starch mixture, the beaten egg, and the panko breadcrumb mixture.

Cut block of tofu into eight equal pieces: cut first in half width-wise, then cut each half in half again. Then, flip each quarter over once, and cut that in half.

In a medium-sized, high-sided saucepan over medium heat, pour in enough peanut oil to come one inch up the side. Heat until a bit of flour dropped into the oil immediately sizzles.

Dip each piece of tofu first in the flour, then in the egg, and finally in the panko mixture.

Then, using tongs, fry tofu slices in hot oil 3-4 minutes per side, until golden.

Set aside.

Cut steamed asparagus into thirds.

In a large saucepan, heat butter and oil over medium heat until hot. Add minced garlic and sauté for about a minute, careful not to burn. Add asparagus, chicken broth, and cream. Turn to low and cover.

In the meantime, boil pasta until al dente. Add to saucepan with asparagus cream sauce. Add minced parsley, basil, and grated parmesan cheese, salt and pepper to taste, and mix together.

Stir the pesto and cream together in a heat proof bowl and microwave on high for about a minute until hot and bubbling.

Cut each slice of tofu in half. Plate the pasta. Arrange two slices atop the pasta, then drizzle with the pesto sauce. Thusly:

Looks like fried chicken! But, tastes like tofu!

And with all that butter and cream and cheese, it's not like NOT having fried chicken is going to be doing any of your arteries any favors. BUT if you are a vegetarianist, at least you can enjoy all kinds of artery-hardening goodness without the meat!

To see who else is tossing their tongs into the ring for Battle Tofu, head on over to Miz Boxer's Place for all the details.