Sunday, August 21, 2011

Notes From the Road



Dear Bed and Breakfast Owners Throughout the Northeast Corridor,

Just because Benjamin Franklin slept here? Doesn't mean anyone living in the 21st century should.

Signed,
Moi (Too tired to go Road Warrior on any one's asses. Tonight.)


17 comments:

Boxer said...

I'm a big fan of Best Western too. Clean, comfy and you know what you're getting. I hate B&B's. Mr. Boxer and I think they are the LEAST romantic place to go and/or stay if on vacation.

next time can you just have them give you the money they spend on your accomidations and let you pick and pay? Seems more civilized. Any roaches? Did you buddy tag along?

Boxer said...

p.s. do you think mel was always bat shite crazy?

Troll said...

You be in Philly? You need to put the "cuisine" on blast too.

When I was there, I went to an expensive restaurant and ordered "Philly Style" crabcakes.

They brought me:

2 large lumps of vaguely crab-scented breaded goo in between two thick slices of white bread.

They served it with white Boxed mashed potatos and two additional slices of white bread.

I asked for some Minute-Rice because I didn't think I'd reached by Daily Adult Requirements for tasteless nutrition-free white stuff.

czar said...

Welcome to EDT. Once you get used to the conversion, it's pretty much the same.

Pam said...

I can picture you in Mel's outfit here. Yes, I remember him when he was young and gorgeous. Remember him in Galipoli? Don't go Mad Max on anyone, please. And don't flush the doilies, they might be holding the place together. We stay at some B&B's when overseas but usually because of no hotels or family nearby. Some have been ....interesting.

moi said...

Boxer: This is Buck's County. I don't think there's anything BUT B&Bs :o)

Troll: Not quite Philly. See above. But, dude, so true! I have a post's worth of material on last night's dinner alone. Let me just say: if you use corn starch in your "sauce," and charge me $40 for it? You're on my shit list.

Czar: Eastern Daylight Time? Nicely light in the mornings for runs. Around beautifully chichi lala neighborhoods that make me wonder about property tax prices.

Pam: When I think of where I used to stay/sleep when I traveled, I wonder where that free wheeling gal went. The adage that we get more conservative the older we get most likely extends to hotels as well.

Buzz Kill said...

Bucks County? That's not Philly - that's the sticks. The Pudge just did his BSA summer camp there in Pipersville. No wonder you're miserable. And you're too far out to get a decent cheese steak.

@Troll - Sounds like you may have been in the Lancaster area. Home of the Amish and all things starch. They have mashed potatoes mixed with stuffing - 'nough said.

Troll said...

@Buzz,

Nope. This "fine dining" establishment was walking distance from the Fed Complex in PHILLY.

I've been to Bucks County and Lancaster too. At least in Lancaster the Amish don't have th gall to charge you 60 bucks for a plate of pure starch.

moi said...

Buzz: I'm 30 min. from downtown Philly if I book it. I plan to try one of these evenings because I want that Cheese Steak (the things some women do for love, I do for food). And if this is the sticks, it's awfully slick sticks! One thing I forgot about: the accent. Man, haven't heard this in a while.

Troll: I passed a restaurant (closed Sundays) that advertised itself as locally sourced fresh ingredients artfully prepared. We'll see . . .

fishy said...

I really, really like heavenly beds. They help me travel better. It's hard to find those in a B&B.

I think Bobby Flay did a cheesesteak throwdown in Philly at a place called Tony Luke's.

moi said...

Fishy: Luckily, the bed is fine. And there's plenty of hot water. Other than that, noooooooooo. I keep expecting Juan Carlos's NE cockarocha bug cousin to come crawling out of the woodwork any secomundo to put the fear of God into me.

Aunty Belle said...

I feels yore pain, Moi, Cherie!

it is inexcusable that the idea of B&B is nearly synonymous wif' The Bates Motel. I always worry that the rooms have hidden cameras--onc't Uncle an me went to some stratospheric B&B in a ooh la la place fer an anniversary. The gimlet eyed proprietor looked us over purty good than said "I have just the room for the two of you." I undressed in the
dark closet, took no bath, an' an we whispered when talk wuz needed.

Still, I have no doubt that iffin' Moi or Boxer or Fishy ran the place it's be mahvelous.

moi said...

Aunty: I've been in decent B&Bs, but the problem with most of them is they're just not geared to business travelers. Granted, I understand my client had few options—this area is pricey and the only "real" hotel was nearly double the price per night and not centrally located. In times of plenty, you can just pass that along to the client but when you're trying to get and keep every scrap of business that comes your way, cost cutting is necessary. Still, the most important thing to me—and I think most business travelers—is access to coffee and breakfast by at least 7am, dependable WiFi, and a workout room. If a place doesn't have those three things, I'm going to be a Miss Cranky Pants.

Aunty Belle said...

@ Lexiconification
( yep--still playing catch up)

ooh! much good advice from the gallery.

I had the same english teach as Pam--never "Get". Git, be ok though.

La Diva is nail-on-head right STOP puhleeeeeeze stop verbification of nouns. Wait--doan "re-purpose" any words. I detest "tasked", agree wif' Fishy's "trending" and tagging La Diva, "re-gifted" makes me urp.

As fer neologisms, Uncle is champ:

Equify (to equalize a situation whar' justice needs to be done)

Mortabored ( bored to death)

Salagacious ( knowing what NOT to talk about around Aunty)

I is relieved that ya (and CZAR!) doan redline--whew! But then, ain't nobody got (thas' as bad as get) a Cracker dictionary--hahahaha!

Princess said...

Hi Moi,

just popped over to leave you a gentle reminder link to my place for haiku Monday.. given that the great Troll is a travel-inn man this week...

See you Monday!

The Poet Laura-eate said...

I hope they've changed the sheets since Mr Franklin's visit!

moi said...

Aunty: Mortabored is priceless!

Princess: Count me in, you betcha!

Poet: Um. Nope.