Tuesday, July 21, 2009

You Want It All But You Can't Have It



Dear Barry Oh, So Now You Think You're My OB-GYN,

I know you've been trying real hard these past seven months to make me your girlfriend, but I gotta tell ya, dude. Snazzy suits and honied speeches aside, it's just not working for me.

You should know that it's you, not me. Because if you think you're going to stand in between one of the most sacred private relationships allowed an individual – the one between me and my doctor – you're wrong.

Now, you work on a REAL plan to eliminate the insurance companies as middle men, remove the mouths of your D.C. buddies from the assholes of the pharmaceutical companies, and return medicine to the free market so costs can truly adjust accordingly, then maybe we can go for ice cream.

Until then, you're going to have to anesthetize this bitch for me to listen to you.

Sincerely,
Moi
at

16 comments:

  1. HeffJuly 21, 2009 at 11:47 AM

    Damn, I like you !

    ReplyDelete
  2. Gnomeself Be TrueJuly 21, 2009 at 12:37 PM

    In a twisted sort of way, this shit ecconomy my save our long term asses.
    There is no way in hell dems are going to reform anything in a way that spends LESS money. Every bill is so pork laden and special interest paying that it can do nothing but ruin us.

    ReplyDelete
  3. moiJuly 21, 2009 at 1:36 PM

    Heff: Goody! Moi's Revolucion can use all the beer-drinking, guitar-pounding, bird-flipping conservatives it can get.

    Gnome: And we just keep on thinking they're doing everything to benefit lil' ol' us! Shucks.

    ReplyDelete
  4. JennyJuly 21, 2009 at 2:26 PM

    Bwahahahahaahahahahahahahahaha.

    amen, sister.

    In my world, our customers shop my product and see if I'm offering the best price. Then they get to pick what they want; quality or quantity.

    and I agree with Gnomey

    ReplyDelete
  5. Haiku MasterJuly 21, 2009 at 3:50 PM

    Trojan horse chosen.
    Camel's nose under the tent.
    Both leave steaming piles.

    ReplyDelete
  6. rotty in exileJuly 21, 2009 at 6:00 PM

    dont worry, moi. if you choose death -it will be free!

    another awesome haiku, troll.

    ReplyDelete
  7. moiJuly 22, 2009 at 6:50 AM

    Boxer: Choices, schmoises. In this brave new world, the government knows what's best for us. Everybody, get in line.

    Haiku: See, if we had you in Congress? We'd really cut to the chase.

    Rotty: Well, dying the act doesn't cost anything. But they'll tax to high heaven what little estate I have left afterward so that my heirs are left with, what, a couple high heels and some baking pans?

    ReplyDelete
  8. hJuly 22, 2009 at 7:29 AM

    This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Haiku MasterJuly 22, 2009 at 7:33 AM

    Moi,

    Master in Congress??!!
    Porcine pilots on iced hell!!
    It almost happened.

    ReplyDelete
  10. erJuly 22, 2009 at 9:14 AM

    then give me the pans now. ;-)

    ReplyDelete
  11. Kymical ReactionsJuly 22, 2009 at 3:07 PM

    I have never heard such a 'fast talker' as the Commander in Cheif. He seems to rush through everything, hoping no one ever really catches on to his nonsense. Thank goodness for Fox News, and the word by word break down.

    ReplyDelete
  12. moiJuly 22, 2009 at 4:34 PM

    Haiku Master: Now and Zen, every gooberment needs a Haiku Master.

    er: Er?

    kwmthay: What does the lil' gooberment fishy in the sea say? "Just keep spinning . . . "

    ReplyDelete
  13. Aunty BelleJuly 22, 2009 at 5:29 PM

    chortle!!!

    ReplyDelete
  14. UnknownJuly 23, 2009 at 11:00 AM

    You wouldn't even believe some of the e-mails we are getting about it. What about the "educating elderly" about life options???

    ReplyDelete
  15. Buzz KillJuly 23, 2009 at 11:37 AM

    I watched the dog and pony show last night and got a real chuckle out of how the president dodged the "Will congress and their families use the same healthcare system that he signs in to law?" (paraphrasing). That is the only way there will ever be any healthcare reform

    ReplyDelete
  16. AnonymousJuly 23, 2009 at 3:44 PM

    Obama hath said,
    But this bill to bed
    It shall not be dead!

    People in the streets
    Will
    surely?
    stomp and scream
    for
    the
    demise
    of
    Bill
    :-)

    Should we not?
    If not,
    Buy a shovel
    Dig your hole
    Fall in it

    ReplyDelete

Bite Me