Wednesday, January 9, 2008

Smells Like Vacation To Moi


Every year out here in the Rocky Mountain Southwest, winter storms blow in from the Pacific, gathering force as they move along across California and Arizona with the result being that, by the time they reach Colorado and New Mexico, more than a few hapless outdoor adventurers manage to lose themselves among all the sound and fury.

Far from being tragic in IMHO (can you say, thin the herd?), these incidents instead inspire mucho chuckling and head shaking from the denizens of this here household. ‘Cause look, Party People, in this day and age of insta Internet access, anyone who ventures out into the wilderness without first checking the forecast on weather.com? Well, Room For Rent simply must be tattooed across their foreheads at the first available opportunity. Just so those of us who encounter these dimwits have sufficient notice to give them wide berth.

Of course, the press just lives for these kinds of stories. Take this recent incident in which a six-person, two-family team of merry funsters got lost snowmobiling in the mountains north of Chama, New Mexico this past Friday. Everyone was in a panic for days.

But yesterday morning, the news broke: Thank gah and glory be. The two families have been found! enthused a shiny-eyed CNN reporter, bundled like an overgrown papoose in her $5 bazillion North Face puffer parka. They put all their survival skills to the test and made it through!

Uh-huh.

Which prompts Moi to ask this Zen-like question: If, in getting lost in a blizzard, you find your way to an abandoned cabin, break in, discover a propane grill, blankets, food, and thus proceed to whittle away the hours cheerfully playing Pictionary and stuffing your face with popcorn until one of you eventually hoists himself out of the cushy cabin sofa to climb the hill at the back of the property to suss out a cell phone signal and call for help, well, now, can you honestly say you survived anything?

I think not.

13 comments:

The Troll said...

Brilliant. GMTA. If I had a cabin in the woods, I would MAKE SURE that "Room for Renters" couldn't use it survive. In fact, I think I'd booby-trap it.

CHARGE THESE DOLTS FOR ALL THE POLICE AND RESCUE WORKER HOURS SPENT LOOKING FOR THEM!

"Hey Huckleberry, remember that time we climbed up 6 Degree-Slope Hillbilly Hill in October?".

" Yeah boy, Cletus! That was fun".

"So, let's climb Mount Hood in January!"

"I'm there, Cletus!".

the Dread Pirate Rackham said...

here's something a little closer to survival than that,

http://ap.google.com/article/ALeqM5hyTgs476gElflzKMzWVrQ_xvxt0wD8U1UVO01

Naw - I disagree. Don't charge rescuers for being rescued. Charge Bill O'Reilly for being a dumbass, but don't charge them.

The number of people who actually get lost is vanishingly small compared with people who do other dumb stuff.

http://outside.away.com/outside/culture/200703/climbing-accidents.html

Doris Rose said...

My only prayer is that "stupid" is not contagious, although it clearly is genetic. I loved the fact that the doctor and his fiancée, who were lost called in and said he wouldn't be at work, very thoughtful.you know we tag dogs... perhaps infants should have a chip implanted...just sayin'

she said...

i am recalling the climbers last year during a blizzard...same thing. when we hike even just for the day our packs are filled with the "criticals" just in case. and it doesnt take much to die of hypertherma btw. take a mild day with light sweat, add night and a temp drop and youve got it if you dont have matches.

to the troll: you can be prosecuted for booby trappin up here...i know i was warned by the poe leece post cabin burglery ...and if Obama wins if someone robs you and you shoot him...in your own home(!) he can sue you. *so make sure you finish the job* grrrrherherhaha

moi said...

Troll: Actually, many search and rescue operations are run by citizen volunteers.

Pirate: "Self-reliance in the wilderness is part of our national heritage." I'd like that on a tee shirt.

Doris: Most dogs are smarter out in the wild than their humans, don't cha know.

She: Yup, you gonna go mucking about in Mother Nature's turf, you best pack some matches and a thermal blankie. And sandwiches. Always, always take sandwiches . . .

Gypsy said...

Only Moi would notice what the CNN reporter was wearing at the time....LMAO.

It sounds like the perfect vacation to me and it was free too.

Wicked Thistle said...

"Room for Rent" tattooed across their foreheads---BWAAA HA HA HA HA!! Gawd, you make me laugh...

ThursdayNext said...

And here in New York it was almost 70 degrees today...geez.

Aunty Belle said...

Hee hee..guffaw! The fashion commentary is priceless. Hearin' this on the rescued snow bunnies.

but puddin' I done give ya the wrong idea on Aunty in the previous post--nope that ain't me stylin' on the slopes in some big Jacki-Os. Aunty is the one hobblin' on her staff, socks soaked in blister blood, cause she was ill prepared and now has new found RESPECT fer mountains. (an the euro gig is once in a blue moon--mostly I'se right heah in Hammock Hollow)

Love yore posts--knee slappers!

moi said...

Gypsy: Well, that's because, you know, puffer parkas are so ding dang silly-looking.

Wicked: I'm right, though, right?

Thursday: Seventy degrees in the Big Apple. Le Sigh. But I assume you all have your own version of dolt.

Aunty: Ah. Thanks for clarifying that. Here's a word for you next time you venture out of the Hollow: SmartWool.

Ms Robinson said...

Oh I read this one. I agree with the troll - all people who are this dumb should be charged. Those idiots who climb Mont Blanc, the fuckwit who the Australian navy have had to rescue twice, the ones that go to Scotland in freezing weather. Make 'em pay.

I love the picture.

moi said...

Ms R: I would guess there's a lot of that macho crashing and bashing going around in Australia, huh?

Meghan said...

The two families have been found! enthused a shiny-eyed CNN reporter, bundled like an overgrown papoose in her $5 bazillion North Face puffer parka.

You have no idea how hard that made me laugh. I think I actually peed myself a little.