Monday, April 23, 2012

Haiku Monday: SUMERU

This week's challenge is hosted by Chickory, who has tasked us to write a haiku based on our reactions to a selection of images by Nick Peterson, which in turn were inspired by a Zen-Buddhist concept. As beautiful and compelling and inspiring as I find these images, I've just plum run out of steam and have not a single more word inside of me to express how I feel about them. So I'll let Bjork do it instead:




Now head over to Chickory's to see what our weekly round of haiku-cuckhoos have finely crafted for our awe and amusement.

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Welcome to the Jungle



Dear Writer,

So sorry to have to tell you that, in spite of the clarity of the original assignment and repeated efforts after submission of your article (4 days late, I might add) to further clarify the assignment and provide you with additional, step-by-step-instructions and criteria to help you meet said assignment (and not your wildly WTF interpretation thereof), you are FIRED.

For it appears, yes, that you are an egotistical windbag who has grossly over represented your talent, thus wasting my time and delaying production by at least a week because I now have to scramble to fill the spot of a major feature for which there is no other recourse but a swift and silent death.

Sincerely,

Moi
Otherwise known as The Editor Who Never Wants to Hear Your Name Uttered in Polite Company Ever Again. Ever.

Sunday, April 15, 2012

Haiku Monday: SMOKE


Like a bad boyfriend,
addicted, foresworn, and mourned.
I still dream I smoke.

* * *

Who put the Troll out, who, who, who, who, who?

He's only half back, so in his stead, Anonymous Boxer has kindly offered to host this week's Haiku Monday. Come back soon, Troll!
Until then, I'll just have a bit of a pout.

Monday, April 9, 2012

The 50 Percent

She can watch, she just can't play. Yeah . . . Same as it ever was.


Can you believe that in this day and age, the Augusta National Golf Club is still hemming and hawing over whether to admit a WOMAN?

As a libertarian, I think any privately owned club, institution, business, whatever, has the right to hire, admit, and patronize whoever and whatever it wants. I would never stick the barrel of congressional legislation at their head and threaten to pull the trigger just because those choices are stupid. But let's all admit that they are—and say it loudly and often.

If Augusta is all about where the big boys of industry play, well, some of those boys are now girls. So, what, the dudes running Augusta are just going to la, la, la, la, la, themselves over that one?

You know what else is stupid? Those schlumpy, "yes massah" overalls the caddies still wear at the Masters. Can we just get rid of those now?

Friday, April 6, 2012

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

Here's a Ten-Dollar Word For Ya



DIS-IN-GEN-UOUS 



Oh, Samantha, I don't want to join the camp of the 4000+ people who have already hit you over the head for this bit of journalistic foolishness, because I think some of their comments to you were cruel. But I'm really struggling to figure out not only the point of this article but also how on EARTH you couldn't foresee the resulting shit storm response. 

Don't get me wrong. You're a pretty gal. But I know many way more attractive women than you appear to be, a few, even, whose beauty would give Angelina Jolie a serious run for her money. And yet none of them have ever experienced anything close to the kind of off-the-charts attention—good and bad—you describe in your article. 

Well, okay, so one of my gal pals does get an inordinate amount of attention from men, but none of us who count ourselves part of her wide circle of friends has ostracized her because of it. We are mature enough and secure enough to know her movie-star beauty is a combination of happy genetic accident and a whole heck of a lot of work, so more power to her. It's not the only thing that defines her, besides. She is also kind and caring, wickedly funny, a terrific cook, and a gracious hostesses. Who wouldn't want someone like that for a friend?

So I'm beginning to wonder if there isn't perhaps another reason for the gobs of antipathy slung your way by members of our fair sex.

But this, this is the worst: You can't wait for wrinkles and grey hair so you can "blend into the background?" I can't even begin to deal with the utter stupidity of that statement.

Monday, April 2, 2012

Haiku Monday: SENSE

What ten bucks will buy:
"Mellifluous chirruping."
Ten cents? "Tweet, tweet, tweet."


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Señor Rafe is hosting this go round, so head on over to his place to check out the action. 
Looks like there's a whole lotta sensin' going on!

* * * 

Also, my favorite non-sense band: