Thursday, January 29, 2009

Don't Go Breakin' Moi's Heart


I've been barking up the wrong tree, y'all. I should have been rooting for Top Chef's Stefan all along. Sorry. I forgot that, oftentimes, there's a valid reason for arrogance. Like oh, I dunno, competence.

Okay, so his dish last night was grody to the max, but you know what, out of the three men who stood in front of the judges for their own failures, he was the only one who didn't yak on and on about it. All he said was, "I apologize." No fancy excuses, no cry baby tactics.

Unlike my former boyfriend,


who completely fell apart and got himself booted off the show.
Darn it.

Stefan, on the other hand, remained silent and kept his gaze on his shoes. Which just goes to underscore the validity of Moi's Tenet #349 Defining a Mighty Fine Man: The ability to shut the hell up. And, when he does speak? He does it with an accent so we can barely understand what he's saying.

Don't screw this up, Stefan. You do, and I'll be forced to switch my allegiance to Carla the Kooky Love Child. And y'all know how I feel about hippies.

Still, last night, this bundle of sunshine wrapped in neurosis managed to make a rockin' crawfish dish in 20 minutes flat, effectively smokin' your and everyone else's ass. She is not, it turns out, to be underestimated. You have been warned.

119 comments:

Big Shamu said...

Have to agree with everything you said here. While I expected your former boyfriend to be packing his knives, Carla rose like a wacky, high energy phoenix from the ashes of Restaurant Wars. AND my girl Andrea put the smackdown on the FabuFin, letting just a bit of air out of his oversized head.
It was delicious.

Heff said...

I can't get in to this show. I've tried. It just ain't happenin'.

MommyHeadache said...

lol...when did any female ever watch this show for the cooking competency? (I mean it wasn't for me, it was all about drama of the Hosea/Leah hookup and fancying Jeff). Frankly I was gutted when Jeff was kicked off, not least because I had to give my husband $20 cos I lost the bet.

I can admire Stefan because he is a sort of competent robot but he isn't really a fine man, he's the sort of person you could not date because he would always always have to be right even when he was wrong.

Also thank God the new Hell's Kitchen starts tonight.

VintagePurseGal said...

Do you think they kept Fabio for the entertainment value? Dude is hilarious. "I'm-a 30 years-a old and I'm-a still sleepin' on-a da bunky bed."

Gnomeself Be True said...

I also don't think Stephan is a particularly fine guy...thought it's hard to tell from shows like that.
I do give him credit for at least the brains to STFU when corrected by a panel that clearly does not want you to defend your mistakes.
Carla has had her win. I'm not entirely surprised because you have to assume there's some talent there somewhere, though she seems to hide it more often than not.
I'll book it at 1:1 that she's out in the next show. 3:1 that she's out in one of the next 2 shows.
The finale will be Andrea vs. Stephan, with 2:1 money saying Stephan wins it all.
(Feeling bold today with my predictions.)

Big Shamu said...

Nice prediction Gnomy, and I agree with you if you mean Jamie, don't think there's an Andrea left. I think Carla might have some traction left. Leah is not impressing me at all.

Jenny said...

I fell asleep during American Idol and woke up to the news.

Thank God TV never sleeps.

Gnomeself Be True said...

Thanks Shamu...I do mean Jamie.

Jenny said...

I meant, TIVO never sleeps.

moi said...

Shamu: I woulda bet Fabio'd gone home. Sniff.

Heff: Perhaps if a coupla Russ Meyer assistants were added to the mix?

Emma: Sorry you lost your bet, and we lost our eye candy. Cooking, scmooking. If I wanted it to be all about the cooking, I'd pull out my Julia Child DVDs.

Wendy: YES! He's hilarious. What was it that cracked me up so last week? Something about monkey brains inna da clam shells?

Gnome: Ooooo, you're taking this SERIOUSLY. Cool. Glad someone is.

Boxer: You know how some people are all, who cares if you can't make the switchover when digital comes on line, go read a book, yada, yada? Not Moi. I LOVE television and I ain't too proud to say so. Now, off to Pam's to chat about Idol . . .

sparringK9 said...

interesting! im sort of enjoying my tv ban. i think i prefer the synopsis (ES) on various shows on the blogs. carla! wow wee.

h said...

It was such an abortion of a show, I wasn't paying attention by that point. What did Jeff say that made him a crybaby?

I did pay attention to the exit interview. He seemed to admit he over-complicates everything in that.

Stefan's smart. He knew he wasn't going home and saw no reason to give them something to hold a grudge about by being a little bitch.

I don't think he's a little bitch. But I'm not sure he wouldn't make excuses if he believed he was actually on the chopping block.

I definately think he'd make a better surplus husband for YOU than Jeff.

Aunty Belle said...

Yeeesh! Thas' a lotta drama some crawfish.

VintagePurseGal said...

RIGHT! I think it was "stuff bananas in a monkey's butt." I'm going to watch it again. My 17-year-old and I usually watch it together, but she missed it because she had to go to her mock trial competition practice, which was also her semester final in her Applied Legal Studies class. Geesh. Kids have no idea how to prioritize.

moi said...

K9: Carla's a sneaky one. All big-eyed and smiley and self effacing and then, bam, she hits you with something tasty.

Troll: It's a fine line between defending yourself and making excuses. If anyone can walk it, it's most likely Stefan.

Aunty: That's what sells, for sure.

Wendy: Just when you think you've got your kids where you want 'em, bringing you snacks and hanging on the sofa, they go all grown up on you.

sparringK9 said...

the surfer dude reminds me of one of the "dates" on mystery date.

Jenny said...

bwahah to K9. She's right.

Pam said...

Ack! Fabulous analysis! I am loving Karla more every week. Talk about a personality! Unlike your former boyfriend, who had NONE. Just a cute face and interesting restaurant name. Stefan has all the skills to win it and he is the clear contender, no doubt.

the Dread Pirate Rackham said...

i knew he was gonna be super amazing, that arrogant euro-bastard.

btw- my interview is FINALLY up. thx.

The Java Junkie said...

Moi, have you read Jeff's interview with People??

moi said...

K9: But do you think he's hawt?

Boxer: Ditto. Inquiring minds and all that . . .

Pam: I think they chose him for that restaurant name alone.

Pirate: I'll be right over! And, another tee-shirt: "Arrogant Euro-Bastards of the World Unite"

Java: Thanks for the linkee! Interesting stuff. Bwahahahahah at his comment about if he wants roasted chicken, he'll go to his grandma's.

Herself, the GeekGirl said...

WHo was that first guy? He looked like a young bruce willis without hair. ;-)

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