Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Searching the Sky for Mankind's Friend

Oh dear. The presidential elections are only a few months off and I have done little campaigning. To plug myself. What with McCain flapping his mouth all over the airwaves calling us "my friends" every 5.67 seconds and Obama stumbling and bumbling like some codependent mother assuring us that no, we're not in fact lazy ass crybabies who should work harder and quit spending what we don't have, but victims, victims of a terrible mishandling of the big bad economy by the big bad Republitards, well. A girl just doesn't know how to dress for that shit. Much less open her mouth to once again, le sigh, tell them both they have it all wrong.

But, I have come up with a campaign theme song! Okay, so it's very Nineties Lite, but it was either Cracker or something by Ministry.



I know the posts these days are as thin as glaze on a Bundt cake, but I ain't got no gooberment loan and no one sends a check from home so guess what? I gotta work. My you-know-what off. I promise longer, more pithy observations on fascists and fall shoe fashions by the end of next week when my book's in the bag.

P.S. What the world also needs now is another folk singer like I need a hole in my head. But that's another song.

17 comments:

The Troll said...

Great minds think alike! The Troll Report explored this theme today.

Gosh, I liked that song!

iamnot said...

I never thought I'd love McCain this much, but then again, I never thought I'd get to know Barry this well.

moi said...

Troll: I also suggest "Euro Trash Girl" (best country song of 1993) and "Can I Take My Gun to Heaven?"

Iamnot: McCain is nothing less than the lesser of two evils. And you know what? In this day and age? As supposedly advanced as we all are? That's just not good enough por Moi.

Aunty Belle said...

We caint git no Sa Tis Faction in this heah elekshun.

Can I take my gun to heaven!! Heh heh...oh they got plenty up thar, and what's more, they work even better than those toys we have. Heh heh.

Aunty Belle said...

Oh, an' I'se lookin' forward to yore fascist post, PRES MOI. "Git on with it"

EmmaK said...

My my this campaign is getting rather tedious isn't it? It was more fun when Hillary was in the mix (although I can't stand her). I thank God that I have no right to vote because I would not vote for either candidate.

The Poet Laura-eate said...

Sounds like your elections are becoming as tedious as ours!

By the by, did I mention I was McCain's lovechild?

Anonymous Boxer said...

just tell me you have time for PROJECT RUNWAY and I'll feel better about all of the work you're doing. You posted this soooo early, which means you were up WORKING.

I'm ready to help with your election; the more I know about the other candidates, the more we need you.

moi said...

Aunty: No. We're just getting more and more deeply cynical.

Emma: Hilary at least added some high hilarity with those pants suits, no? BTW, I nominated her for What Not To Wear. I'm hoping for a late fall taping.

Poet: Oooo, there's my laugh for the day!

AB: Even if my fingers were super glued to my keyboard, there would be time for Project Runway. Although I have not yet had the time to visit with you about Brooke Shields' appearance last week! Wow, she's still so pretty. You think she's had work done?

Anonymous Boxer said...

I want her hair. I got really, really close to the teevee to get a good look at her face. Can't tell. Hmmm.

HOWEVER, have you seen Bob Costas? I got a look at him the other night and hellooooo.... don't touch the BROW.

Wow, that was awkward said...

I love glaze on bundt cake. You are working your ears off?

Mandy said...

That "my friends" business really grated on my nerves. He was really sounding quite sincere through the whole thing, and then every time he'd pop off with a "my friends" I'd immediately recoil from the screen and think, "FALSE."

His people need to fix that quick. Add it to his list of No-No Words along with C-U-N-T.

moi said...

AB: Her hair and bod. Great, great bod. We'll tawk . . .

WTWA: And you know, I love to PUT glaze on Bundt cake. One day, I may send you one. When I'm no longer working off bodily extremities.

Mandy: You know, I bet you could get him to say No-No Hole in reference to Obama. (Sorry, it's going to take me a while to get over that one.)

Anonymous said...

Best Book Idea Ever...

THE VICTIMS OF THE KATRINA "VICTIMS".

You could document all the people who've been victimized by the Katrina bums!

Troll

K9 said...

i always liked that song. i think you hit on the situation quite well...ive been glazing too until my reparations kick in

your BOOK!? what book?

K9 said...

grrrrrrrherhahaha to troll victims of the katrina victims. id read it!

moi said...

Troll: My next book will be a comedy. Wait. Oh, okay!

K9: The book is a corporate history for a client celebrating a gazillion years in business. It is due in its entirely next Thursday. Can you say sweating bullets? But in September . . . The State Fair and all that glorious art is mine, all mine to enjoy stress free!